Thursday, June 28th, 1990
s0e1: Good News Bad News (Alternative pilot)
In the episode that started it all, we see Jerry and George seated at "Pete's Luncheonette," debating the placement of a shirt button. The waitress, Claire, pours each of them a cup of coffee. George frets about whether Claire is giving him regular or decaf, saying he does not want caffeine in his coffee. Claire later, to annoy him, implies that she gave him regular. Jerry then tells George about a woman he met in Michigan, named Laura, who is coming to New York. Jerry wonders if she has romantic intentions. The two continue to talk about her after they leave the luncheonette and go to the laundry. The next evening, Jerry tells his neighbor, Kramer (or "Kessler", as he's known as at the time) that he thinks he misunderstood the situation with Laura. Jerry then receives a telephone call from Laura, who asks if she can stay overnight at his apartment. Jerry invites her, but is still unsure whether or not her visit is intended to be romantic. George and Jerry continue to debate the issue, with Jerry determined to find the true nature of her visit. At the airport, George and Jerry continue to try to identify the possible signals Laura might give upon her arrival, with George explaining the meaning of various greetings. However, when Laura arrives, her greeting is ambiguous. Jerry and Laura arrive at the apartment. Laura then removes some excess clothing to get comfortable, asks for wine, turns down the light and asks if she can stay over a second night. As Jerry begins to grow confident, the phone rings for Laura. When Laura gets off the phone she tells Jerry: "Never get engaged." Jerry then realizes that he has no chance with Laura, but has already committed himself?and his one-bedroom apartment?to an entire weekend with her.
Wednesday, July 5th, 1989
s1e1: The Seinfeld Chronicles
The very first episode. Jerry is ecstatic that a woman he met on the road is coming to stay with him in New York. George and Kramer weigh in on how Jerry should best approach the situation.
Thursday, May 31st, 1990
s1e2: The Stake Out
Jerry meets an attractive woman at a party but by the time she leaves, he has only learned where she works. Jerry stakes out the mystery woman's office with George so that he can "casually" bump into her.
Thursday, June 7th, 1990
s1e3: The Robbery
Jerry is robbed after Kramer fails to close the apartment door. Elaine talks Jerry into looking at a fabulous apartment in the hopes that she can then have Jerry's place. Things are further complicated when George decides he wants the new place too.
Thursday, June 14th, 1990
Jerry tries to "break-up" with his obnoxious childhood friend but his pathetic weeping leads Jerry to give him another chance. Elaine helps Jerry come up with excuses to avoid him.
Thursday, June 21st, 1990
s1e5: The Stock Tip
After George receives a stock tip, he and Jerry take the financial plunge. Elaine and her allergies battle her boyfriend's cats. Meanwhile, Jerry's weekend getaway with his new girlfriend proves to be a relationship killer.
Wednesday, January 23rd, 1991
s2e1: The Ex-Girlfriend
George has doubts about his current relationship that he broke off. Elaine is curious about a relationship that she has with a guy in her building that has degenerated over the past two years. Jerry is reluctantly drawn into George's ex-relationship when he picks up some books left at her apartment. Although he wants to break it off with her, she has this "psycho-sexual" hold over him and he becomes worried about what George might think if he lets this relationship develop. Elaine confronts the guy in her building and Jerry's relationship maybe in jeopardy when his girlfriend sees his act.
Wednesday, January 30th, 1991
s2e2: The Pony Remark
Jerry's parents come to town for a 50th anniversary party. Jerry bets Kramer that he won't complete his plans to renovate his apartment with levels in a month. Jerry takes Elaine to the dinner and he makes an observation about children who have ponies, this remark offends the guest of honor. When she dies soon afterwards, Jerry wonders if he should go to the funeral or go to his championship softball game. Elaine wonders about the fate of the apartment, when she hears the widower is moving to Arizona. George wonders if it will ever be possible for him to have sex again.
Wednesday, February 6th, 1991
s2e3: The Jacket
Jerry buys a real expensive new suede jacket with a colorful inner lining. George has a song from Les Miserables that he just can't get out of his mind. Kramer is supposed pickup a magician friend's doves, and needs someone to help him for two minutes; Elaine takes on the job. Kramer promises she'll get "a lift" to the hotel where Jerry and George are meeting her and her father, Alton Benes, an author cut from Hemingway cloth. Jerry and George suffer while waiting with Elaine's father. When it begins to snow, Jerry turns his new jacket inside out, to protect it, but Alton Benes doesn't want to be seen on the street with him.
Wednesday, February 13th, 1991
s2e4: The Phone Message
George blows an invitation upstairs with his latest girlfriend and then when he tries to make restitution he leaves progressively nastier messages on her answering machine. He gets the chance to prevent her from hearing her messages by having Jerry switch the tape out of her machine, while he distracts her. Jerry and his girlfriend have a disagreement about a TV commercial for Dockers, and his telling his friends about their conflict.
Thursday, April 4th, 1991
s2e5: The Apartment
Kramer tries mousse in his hair. Jerry gets Elaine an opportunity to get the apartment right above him, before he realizes the possible implications. George tests the "man with a wedding band" theory of meeting women.
Thursday, April 11th, 1991
s2e6: The Statue
Jerry has a box of stuff his grandfather left him. Inside is an interesting looking statue that could replace one George's parents had years ago, but he broke. George plans to pick the statue up later but in the meantime he tells his parents about the replacement statue. Meanwhile the boyfriend of a bitter Finnish author (whose latest work Elaine is going to edit) is going to clean Jerry's apartment. When Jerry returns to his apartment it is cleaned beyond reason. Later when Jerry and Elaine are at the author's apartment, they see the statue on her mantelpiece. Getting it back may jeopardize Elaine's chance at being an editor, but save George from his parent's wrath.
Thursday, April 18th, 1991
s2e7: The Revenge
George quits his job in a huff after he is demoted to using the regular bathroom. Newman tells Kramer that he plans to jump off the building. Jerry suggests that George just go back into work next Monday morning and pretend like nothing happened; however, that doesn't work. Newman jumps, from the second floor. George plots revenge, and with Elaine's help, tries to slip his boss "a Mickey." Jerry suspects that his launderer is a larcenist after he discovers that $1500 he had stashed in his laundry bag is missing. Kramer helps Jerry get revenge by bringing a bag of concrete in to put into one of the wash machines.
Thursday, April 25th, 1991
s2e8: The Heart Attack
George thinks he's had a heart attack. The doctor tells him otherwise, but he might want to get his tonsils and adenoids removed. Elaine is interested in the doctor and he is interested in her tongue. George not wanting to deal with the cost, follows Kramer's suggestion of going to a holistic healer. The healer's cure turns George purple and the ride to the hospital is delayed over a Chuckle.
Thursday, May 2nd, 1991
s2e9: The Deal
Jerry and Elaine are watching TV late at night and stumble across "naked people" and that gets them both discussing whether they could have a relationship and not jeopardize their friendship. George says it can't be done, but Jerry and Elaine devise "a system"; however, it develops a little trouble when her birthday comes along.
Thursday, May 16th, 1991
s2e10: The Baby Shower
Elaine needs to use Jerry's apartment to hold a baby shower for a woman that once dated George. George reflects that she was "unequivocally the worst date of my life." Jerry has to go out of town for a show, so he lets Elaine use the apartment. Kramer sells Jerry on the idea on getting an illegal cable hookup. The party begins. The cable guys come to install the hookup. Jerry's show gets canceled, so he returns to the apartment with George (who's prepared to confront the bad date). Jerry is the victim of his own confrontation.
Thursday, May 23rd, 1991
s2e11: The Chinese Restaurant
Jerry, Elaine and George stop for a quick Chinese dinner before a showing of Plan 9 From Outer Space on the big screen. However, while waiting a really long time to get a table, Jerry sees a woman whose name he can't recall; George needs to use a phone he can't have and Elaine needs food, more than those seated ahead of them.
Wednesday, June 26th, 1991
s2e12: The Busboy
George inadvertently meddles in the life of a busboy, by getting him fired. He tries to rectify things; however, he winds up compounding them by losing the busboy's cat. Elaine discovers that a week is much too long to have a houseguest. She does everything in her power to get him out. The busboy's life is saved and made for the better after his involvement with George, until he meets Elaine's houseguest.
Wednesday, September 18th, 1991
s3e1: The Note
Physical therapy proves painful for Jerry when his small talk with his therapist leads to a misunderstanding. Jerry uses his dentist friend, Roy, to write a note so that insurance will cover therapy for George and Elaine. Then, George's paranoia about men comes into play when he gets a massage from a man and later says "I think it moved." Kramer thinks he has seen DiMaggio in Dinky Donuts. The notes may cause Roy to lose his license in an insurance fraud investigation.
Wednesday, September 25th, 1991
s3e2: The Truth
George's relationship with a former IRS worker may ease Jerry's tax audit worries- until she becomes his former girlfriend. She wants to know why, so he tells her the truth, this was after he gave her Jerry's tax records. Elaine sees far too much of Kramer, he's dating her roommate; in return he saw far too much of her, in fact all of her. George tries to get Jerry's tax records back, but he finds she gone into a depression clinic.
Wednesday, October 2nd, 1991
s3e3: The Pen
Elaine regrets accompanying Jerry on a trip to Florida to visit his parents. There are temperature control problems in the condo, a back breaking sofa bed, a slight overdose of muscle relaxants and the disposition of a pen that writes upside down.
Wednesday, October 9th, 1991
s3e4: The Dog
Jerry is watching an unruly dog, for a fellow airline passenger who's sick in a hospital somewhere in Chicago. Jerry, can't leave his apartment, that leaves George and Elaine alone together. They find they have little to say to each other without their conversational third, Jerry; so they talk about him. Kramer tries breaking up with his girlfriend. Jerry can't locate the dogs owner, who was released from the hospital, some time ago.
Wednesday, October 16th, 1991
s3e5: The Library
The library asks Jerry about a book he checked out in 1971 and never returned, so Jerry looks up an old girlfriend for his defense against a library cop. George thinks the homeless man he'd seen outside the library is a former high school gym teacher that he got fired. Kramer has his eye on a librarian. Elaine worries about her career when her boss hates the recommendations she made.
Wednesday, October 30th, 1991
s3e6: The Parking Garage
Everyone separates to try to find the car in a huge parking garage. Jerry needs to use the bathroom so he finds a place to go and gets busted. Elaine tries to get help from people passing by. George joins Jerry in getting busted. Kramer is wearing "the jacket," and forgets where he put down the air conditioner he was carrying and causes George to be really late for his parent's 47th anniversary.
Wednesday, November 6th, 1991
s3e7: The Cafe
Jerry tries helping the owner of a small restaurant attract customers by giving him a suggestion. George must take an IQ test for his latest girlfriend, so Elaine helps him in "a caper" where she takes the test for him. Kramer tries to keep his mother's ex-boyfriend's jacket, because it helps him meet women; however the ex-boyfriend comes looking for it.
Wednesday, November 13th, 1991
s3e8: The Tape
George is excited about a new potential baldness cure that was discovered in China. While listening to a tape of his previous nights show, Jerry hears the voice of a mysterious woman who talks dirty into his tape recorder and everyone becomes excited by the voice. Elaine shines in an entirely new light for George when he is let in on the her secret, she's the voice. He is later driven crazy when she plays around with him while goofing around in front of Kramer's new video recorder. George tries the bald cure. Kramer searches for the jacket.
Wednesday, November 20th, 1991
s3e9: The Nose Job
Jerry's brain and penis play chess against one another to decide whether he should keep dating a vacuous model with whom the "sex is great" but not anything else. George is dating a woman with a big nose, Kramer tells her it like it is and she gets a nose job; however, there is a complication. Kramer gets Elaine to help him retrieve the jacket.
Wednesday, November 27th, 1991
s3e10: The Stranded
Jerry & Elaine go to a party with George, while there they send signals to each other to get out of bad party conversations. Afterward, George abandons them there, when he leaves with a co-worker he has a chance with. Jerry & Elaine keeping the hosts up real late, while waiting for Kramer to come and pick them up. The host later takes Jerry up on his offer to drop by when he is in the city, just as Jerry is leaving. He stays in Jerry's apartment for the evening and parties with Kramer and a lady of the evening. Later George pays the price for his romance in the workplace (he must quit) and he tries to shoplift at the drug store where he says they still owe him ten dollars.
Wednesday, December 4th, 1991
s3e11: The Alternate Side
Jerry's car is stolen and the criminal picks up his car phone. George decides to take a fill-in job moving cars from one side of the street to the other; this turns into a disaster for local traffic flow. Kramer gets a chance to do a line in a Woody Allen film; "these pretzels are making me thirsty." Elaine gets tired of her 66-year-old boyfriend and when she is about to break up with him, he has a stroke.
Wednesday, December 11th, 1991
s3e12: The Red Dot
Jerry is the unwitting cause of Elaine's boyfriend falling off the wagon. Elaine gets George a job, so he buys her a gift, an $85 cashmere sweater. The sweater has a little red dot on it; hence the price. Elaine gives it back, then George gives it to the cleaning woman, to keep her quiet about them having sex on his desk. George gets fired.
Wednesday, January 8th, 1992
s3e13: The Subway
Everyone has an uncommon experience while going their separate ways on the subway. George meets a beautiful woman who distracts him from his intended destination, a job interview. Jerry falls asleep and then wakes up across from a fat naked man and winds up discussing with him, the New York Mets & Coney Island. Elaine's train stops in the middle of a tunnel on her way to be best man at a lesbian wedding. Kramer overhears a hot tip on a horse on his way to pay $600 in traffic violations.
Wednesday, January 15th, 1992
s3e14: The Pez Dispenser
Kramer joins the "Polar Bear Club." Jerry gets one of Kramer's Pez dispensers which makes Elaine laugh during a piano recital of George's girlfriend, and that puts their relationship in jeopardy. Kramer has an idea for a cologne that smells like the beach and suggests that George make a preemptive breakup with his girlfriend, that will give him the "upper hand." The Pez dispenser has a remarkable effect during a drug confrontation.
Wednesday, January 29th, 1992
s3e15: The Suicide
Elaine needs to fast before an x-ray, so she tries stuffing herself three days before the test. After his neighbor Martin tries suicide, Jerry is hit on by his girlfriend, Gina, while at the hospital. A psychic warns George to cancel his vacation to the Cayman Islands, but never can tell George why. Jerry becomes worried when Newman (a friend of Martins) sees him with Gina. Elaine starts hallucinating from hunger. Everything hinges on a Drake's coffee cake.
Wednesday, February 5th, 1992
s3e16: The Fix-Up
After selling each other on the idea, Jerry and Elaine sell George and Elaine's friend on a blind date, then they await the results. They promise to keep each other updated with "full disclosure," though that doesn't happen. There also may be a problem with a defective condom. "My boys can swim!"
Wednesday, February 12th, 1992
s3e17: The Boyfriend (1)
Jerry meets Keith Hernandez and wants to make a good impression. Meanwhile, George is out of time on his unemployment and he works harder than ever on his scheme to get a 13 week extension. He tells the unemployment office he was really close on Vandelay Industries, a company that makes latex products and whose main office is Jerry's apartment. Kramer and Newman hate Hernandez back to a time when they were allegedly spit on by him; however, Jerry supports the "second-spitter theory." Keith asks Jerry about Elaine's status. Keith makes a date with her and breaks a date with Jerry.
Wednesday, February 12th, 1992
s3e18: The Boyfriend (2)
George tries two more approaches with the unemployment officer. Kramer gets Jerry to accompany him to see a former neighbors' new baby, "you got to see the baby." Though he's gone out with Keith once, does that mean he must help him move. Elaine and Keith are hitting it off until he pulls out a cigarette. George wants to sleep with a really tall woman. Keith supports the "second spitter theory." Jerry and Elaine both breakup with Keith and George might get his wish.
Wednesday, February 26th, 1992
s3e19: The Limo
On a whim, Jerry and George take a limo from a passenger that Jerry knows never made it on the plane. While taking the limo they call Elaine & Kramer to join them for an event at Madison Square Garden, but it isn't the type of event they were hoping for.
Wednesday, March 4th, 1992
s3e20: The Good Samaritan
Jerry tracks down a hit-and-run driver, then he wants to date her, after dating her he finds out she hit another woman he's always wanted to date. George has an affair with Elaine's friend. Kramer has violent reactions to Mary Hart's voice.
Wednesday, March 25th, 1992
s3e21: The Letter
Kramer poses for a painting, that an elderly couple becomes just crazy about. George feels obligated to buy something when he accompanies Jerry to his new girlfriend's art studio. Elaine wears an Orioles baseball cap in the owner's box at Yankee Stadium and refuses to remove it. Jerry finds out his new girlfriend is a plagiarist after he hears the words she wrote in a letter, on television. Elaine gets a chance to return to Yankee Stadium.
Wednesday, April 22nd, 1992
s3e22: The Parking Space
Kramer tells Jerry about something his friend Mike said about Jerry being "a phony." After borrowing Jerry's car, Elaine comes up with a wild story, because the car is now making a strange clanking noise. George gets into a confrontation with Mike about a parking space in front of Jerry's apartment. Everyone on the street debates about parking etiquette.
Wednesday, May 6th, 1992
s3e23: The Keys
Kramer invades Jerry's life too much, so Jerry revokes his spare key privileges. Realizing that he has broken the "covenant of the keys" gives Kramer the realization he is now free to come out of the shadows. Kramer takes off for California to follow his acting dream. Jerry gave his spare keys to Elaine, then when he needs them, he goes with George to Elaine's (who has her keys) to search for his spare set. What they find is Elaine's show-biz project. Kramer finds adventure as he journeys across the country to LA where he gets a famous bit part on Murphy Brown.
Wednesday, August 12th, 1992
s4e1: The Trip (1)
With Elaine in Europe, Jerry asks George to accompany him on a trip to LA and The Tonight Show; while there they will try to locate Kramer. While auditioning, Kramer must deal with the advances of an older female landlord (an actress who hasn't worked since 1934) and get someone in Hollywood to read his script treatment. A body is discovered; the victim, a young woman, was strangled. Kramer meets a woman at an audition and he gives her a copy of his script. Jerry loses the correct phrasing for some new jokes and George tries to get Lupe, the chambermaid, to make his bed just right. At The Tonight Show, George disturbs the guests and Jerry bombs. The woman Kramer gave the script to is strangled and his script is found in her possession. Kramer's face is shown on the news as the prime suspect for the "Smog Strangler," a serial-killer.
Wednesday, August 19th, 1992
s4e2: The Trip (2)
Jerry and George try to contact the police to tell them Kramer is innocent. Kramer still doesn't know he's wanted. Jerry and George get a ride in a police car and while en route the officers pick up a possible 519. The 519 suspect is put in the back of the car with George and Jerry and they ask him tipping advice. Then all units are called in on Kramer's building, Jerry and George leave the police car door open and the 519 suspect escapes. While Kramer is in for questioning, another victim is found. He is let go and Jerry and George want to know what he is going to do, he is going to stay in LA. Jerry and George are back in New York and Kramer turns up like nothings changed.
Wednesday, September 16th, 1992
s4e3: The Pitch
NBC executives ask Jerry to come up with an idea for a TV series. George decides he can be a sitcom writer and comes up with "nothing." Kramer trades a radar detector for a helmet, later Newman gets a speeding ticket. While waiting to meet the NBC executives, George and Jerry meet Joe Davola, a writer and "a total nut" who goes to the same shrink as Elaine. Jerry searching for conversation, mentions Kramer's party, whereto Joe wasn't invited. While discussing the disaster of the meeting with NBC, George focuses on starting a relationship with the female NBC executive. Kramer shows his approval by throwing up on her. The helmet saves Kramer from an attack by "Crazy" Joe Davola. While all this is going on Elaine is in Europe with her shrink.
Wednesday, September 16th, 1992
s4e4: The Ticket
Kramer suffers side effects from his head injury. NBC gives Jerry and George another meeting and on the way, Jerry throws out a watch his parents gave him. He then meets his Uncle Leo, who picks the watch out of the garbage. Kramer agrees to be an alibi for Newman's trial on a speeding ticket. George and Jerry meet with NBC executives and they give the go ahead for a pilot. Later they hide in the coffee shop, afraid of an attack from "Crazy" Joe. Elaine's shrink realizes that he didn't leave an extra prescription for Joe Davola, for the time while he's on vacation.
Wednesday, September 23rd, 1992
s4e5: The Wallet
Jerry's parents come to town to see a back specialist, they hear about "Crazy" Joe not liking Jerry and ask about the watch they gave him. George "negotiates" the deal with the NBC and gets a box of cigars from Susan's father. While at the doctor's office Morty's wallet is "stolen." Elaine returns from her trip and tries to end her relationship with her shrink. The deal with NBC is lost.
Wednesday, September 30th, 1992
s4e6: The Watch
Jerry has dinner with his parents and Uncle Leo. Women, who's paying and the watch are all discussed. Elaine uses Kramer as "her boyfriend" in trying to fool her shrink. George gets Russell's address and tries to get the pilot reinstated. Jerry tries to buy back the watch. Outside her shrink's office, Elaine meets "Crazy" Joe, whom she begins to date.
Wednesday, October 7th, 1992
s4e7: The Bubble Boy
Jerry's girlfriend, Naomi has a laugh that sounds like "Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer," and when she hears George's message to Jerry, she breaks up with him. So instead, Jerry asks Elaine to accompany him on a trip to a cabin in the mountain with George and Susan. Kramer isn't invited. Jerry agrees to a side trip to visit a sick fan, a "Bubble Boy." George gets into a fight with the "Bubble Boy" over the correct answer to a Trivial Pursuit question. Kramer and Naomi also make the trip to the cabin and get the fire started.
Wednesday, October 28th, 1992
s4e8: The Cheever Letters
Jerry and George begin to work on the pilot for the series they pitched to NBC. Jerry says the wrong thing while "messing" around with one of Elaine's co-workers. George & Susan tell her father about the cabin fire, he becomes distraught and letters saved from the fire soon explain why. Kramer goes to the Cuban Embassy in search of cigars and makes a deal.
Wednesday, November 4th, 1992
s4e9: The Opera
"Crazy" Joe leaves Jerry a message saying he will put the "kibosh" on him. Kramer has tickets for the opera, Pagliacci, and everyone is going including Elaine and her boyfriend "Crazy" Joe. Elaine drops in on Joe's apartment and is she surprised by what she discovers, so she maces him with cherry Binaca and ends their relationship. Susan can't attend, so George tries to scalp her ticket. Joe, a big fan of Pagliacci, comes to the opera in clown garb; Elaine and Jerry attend together not realizing their different estranged relationships with Joe.
Wednesday, November 11th, 1992
s4e10: The Virgin
After much procrastination, George and Jerry strain to think of an idea for their TV series a few hours before a meeting with NBC executives. Jerry finds out a girl he once met is still a virgin, and later Elaine educates her about men after sex. George wants to end his relationship with Susan so he can exploit his writing profession as a pick-up line. Elaine runs into a Chinese delivery boy. Kramer watches too much television.
Wednesday, November 18th, 1992
s4e11: The Contest
George's mother throws her back out when she falls down after catching him doing "you know." When George says he'll never do it again, Jerry challenges him to a contest of self-denial, when he accepts, Elaine and Kramer want in on the action, or rather the lack of it.
Wednesday, November 25th, 1992
s4e12: The Airport
When their flight home gets canceled, Jerry & Elaine gets on another flight, the latter gets cramped into coach and Jerry parties in 1st class with a model. George and Kramer go between JFK and La Guardia to pick them up. When they settle on an airport George meets a convict and Kramer sees a man who owes him $240 from years ago.
Wednesday, December 16th, 1992
s4e13: The Pick
Elaine is humiliated when she accidentally shows a bit too much on her Christmas card photo, that she has sent out to everyone she knows. Jerry has a date with the model from the plane, she later dumps Jerry because of "The Pick." George tries to reunite with Susan, but realizes it's a mistake, and uses "The Pick". Kramer goes to Calvin Klein to complain about "The Ocean," a fragrance they stole from him, and is asked to pose for a risqué underwear advertisement.
Wednesday, January 6th, 1993
s4e14: The Movie
Jerry tries to make two show dates and afterwards go to the movie theater to meet everyone. George gets in the wrong line for tickets. George, Elaine & Kramer decide to go to another theater to see the movie. Kramer waits outside for Jerry but also wants a hot dog. Jerry misses his first show, then goes to movie theater to tell everyone he won't make the movie, but no one is there. Through a comedy of errors, everyone (but Kramer) misses the movie, they were originally going to see.
Wednesday, January 27th, 1993
s4e15: The Visa
George meets a Chinese female lawyer who thinks he is real funny; so he tells Jerry not to be funny around her, but she becomes attracted to this. Kramer returns early from baseball fantasy camp, where he accidentally punched Mickey Mantle. A mix-up with Jerry's mail causes Babu to be arrested for not renewing his visa. Jerry tries to get the lawyer to help Babu, but George's honesty when his relationship is threatened causes Babu to be deported and Elaine to still be sued by the delivery boy she hit.
Thursday, February 4th, 1993
s4e16: The Shoes
Jerry and George struggle to keep their idea for a TV series alive, one of their problems is they don't know how to do the Elaine character. Jerry meets an old girlfriend he never could kiss, later Kramer gets the opportunity. The ex-girlfriend talks about Elaine's shoes, mainly because she wants them. George is caught staring at the cleavage of the daughter of the NBC executive who is approving their script. Elaine's cleavage provides a means to turn the tables on him.
Thursday, February 11th, 1993
s4e17: The Outing
No thanks to Elaine, Jerry must work hard to prove he is straight when a college reporter mistakenly reports that he and George are gay, "not that there is anything wrong with that." Things really get out of hand when the article is picked up by the New York Post.
Thursday, February 18th, 1993
s4e18: The Old Man
Jerry, Elaine & George volunteer to help the elderly. Jerry gets assigned to a nasty old man. Elaine is repulsed by the goiter problems of hers and George depresses his charge. Kramer and Newman try the business of selling old records to a used record store. Jerry loses track of his man when they try to take him to the dentist to repair his dentures, after the man had bitten Kramer's arm.
Thursday, February 25th, 1993
s4e19: The Implant
Jerry dumps his girlfriend after Elaine says her figure is the result of implants. Kramer claims to have seen Salman Rushdie at the health club. By accident Elaine later discovers the breasts are real. George accompanies his current girlfriend to Detroit for her aunt's wake. While there he tries to get a copy of her death certificate so he can get a 50% discount on the airfare.
Thursday, March 18th, 1993
s4e20: The Junior Mint
Jerry has a date with a woman whose name he has forgotten, but it "rhymes with a female body part." Could it be "Mulva"? Elaine visits an old boyfriend who's in the hospital for an operation; he was once fat, thin she's interested again. Kramer gets an opportunity to witness the operation and he drags Jerry along, while watching they have an accident with a "Junior Mint."
Thursday, April 15th, 1993
s4e21: The Smelly Car
The strong body odor of a valet is left in Jerry's car. George can't believe it when he spots Susan holding hands with another woman. Elaine loses her current boyfriend and Jerry is forced to try to sell the car, because the odor has taken a life of its own and permeated everything. George is turned by Susan's new outlook on life. Susan's friend is swayed to heterosexuality by Kramer, though later turned back off by a whiff of a jacket that Kramer borrowed from Jerry. When the car can't be sold, Jerry winds up leaving it and the keys out on the street.
Thursday, May 13th, 1993
s4e22: The Handicap Spot
Going out to buy an engagement party present for "The Drake," George parks his father's car in a handicap parking spot, after taking Kramer's advice. An angry mob trashes the vehicle when a disabled woman gets injured, because of the illegal parking. While visiting the woman at the hospital, Kramer falls in love and feels compelled to replace the wheelchair. George becomes his father's butler after his father gets arrested for parking in the spot.
Thursday, May 20th, 1993
s4e23: The Pilot (1)
Jerry and George get the green light to produce Jerry, the pilot for the series based on their "nothing" lives. Russell Dalrimple, the president at NBC behind the pilot, is obsessed with Elaine. George is obsessed with a white spot on his lip and a box of raisins taken by actor playing Kramer. The real Kramer has an internal plumbing problem and on his way to fix it, he gets delayed and is caused to "miss his chance." Jerry has an audition with the new "Elaine," a method actress interested in being Elaine in every way. The real Elaine has a problem with the coffee shop, they appear to be only hiring buxom waitresses, so she tries to get hired and files a report.
Thursday, May 20th, 1993
s4e24: The Pilot (2)
Rehearsals for the pilot begin. Russell's obsession with Elaine begins to affect his work. George asks TV Kramer about the raisins. The real Kramer might be forced to work on his plumbing problem by using the "dreaded apparatus." Elaine gets an investigation started on the owner of the diner. George gets the results of the biopsy of his white spot. At the taping of the pilot, Elaine sneaks in disguised and "Crazy" Joe jumps out of the audience. Elaine finds Morty's wallet in Jerry's couch. Everyone from the past season comments on the pilot as it's broadcast, they all think it's great. When Russell disappears, the fate of the pilot is in the hands of the new president, a person convinced that Jerry can't act.
Thursday, September 16th, 1993
s5e1: The Mango
George tells Jerry about his lack of confidence below "the equator." Jerry begs Elaine for another chance when he finds out she faked her orgasms. Kramer gets banned from his favorite fruit shop.
Thursday, September 23rd, 1993
s5e2: The Puffy Shirt
George is forced to move in with his parents. He gets a job as a hand model and becomes obsessed with keeping his hands safe. Kramer's girlfriend, who designs clothes and talks with a real low voice, asks Jerry a question that he politely answers yes to. He agrees to wear one of her new puffy pirate shirts on a Today Show appearance he is making.
Thursday, September 30th, 1993
s5e3: The Glasses
George's glasses are stolen and he needs a new pair, so he goes to see Kramer's friend to get a thirty percent discount; all Elaine gets is bitten by a dog and then she becomes afraid of them. While not wearing his glasses, George thinks he sees Jerry's girlfriend kissing Jerry's cousin and Jerry tries to figure out if it's true.
Thursday, October 7th, 1993
s5e4: The Sniffing Accountant
George's father gets him an interview as a bra salesman. Evidence points to Jerry's accountant being a drug user. So Jerry, Kramer and Newman set out to find out the truth. Elaine's new boyfriend is perfect except for his use of an exclamation point.
Thursday, October 14th, 1993
s5e5: The Bris
George gets a great parking spot that becomes a target. Kramer thinks that he has stumbled on the product of a genetic engineering experiment, a "pig man." Elaine and Jerry are nervous about the religious duties they must do when they agree to become godparents to a couple's newborn, including getting the Mohel and holding the baby for the circumcision.
Thursday, October 28th, 1993
s5e6: The Lip Reader
Jerry is smitten with a line judge at the US Open, but after he gets her attention, he finds out she is deaf. Elaine has a problem not communicating with a limo driver. George wants to use Jerry's girlfriend to read the lips of his ex-girlfriend to find out what she is saying about him. While she is reading the lips, Kramer does the translation, that gets George in more trouble. Kramer becomes a ball man at the Open, when Monica Seles returns to tennis.
Thursday, November 4th, 1993
s5e7: The Non-Fat Yogurt
When they begin to gain weight, Jerry and Elaine suspect that Kramer has made a bad investment in a non-fat yogurt shop. Jerry inadvertently uses the "F" word, as a result so does Meredith's son Matthew, a lot. George meets an old childhood friend whom he is convinced is trying to humiliate him. Elaine begins dating this friend and gives him an idea for his mayoral candidate's campaign. Kramer's date with a lab technician results in strange test results for the future mayor of New York City.
Thursday, November 11th, 1993
s5e8: The Barber
George is uncertain about whether his job interview was successful or not, so he decides to go into the office and act like an employee while the boss is on vacation. Jerry is reluctant to dump his old barber even when he is given a real bad haircut. Kramer arranges to get him a clandestine haircut at the apartment of his barber. Newman is charged by Jerry's barber to get a sample of Jerry's hair when he suspects foul play.
Thursday, November 18th, 1993
s5e9: The Masseuse
Elaine meets a man who's perfect except his name is the same as a notorious serial killer. Jerry is frustrated when he can't get his girlfriend, who's a masseuse, to give him a massage, even Kramer is a customer. George is obsessed when Jerry's girlfriend doesn't like him, so he tries extra hard to get her to like him, much to his own girlfriend's dismay.
Thursday, December 9th, 1993
s5e10: The Cigar Store Indian
Jerry helps George out with a coffee table stain and makes Elaine take the subway home and gives her Mr. Costanza's TV Guide to read. While on the train, Elaine meets a strange man obsessed with television. George meets a woman at a refinishing store who he brings back to his parent's home and passes it off as his. A female Native American that he is interested in thinks Jerry is racially insensitive when he presents Elaine with a cigar-store Indian as a peace offering. George gets grounded when his parents return from vacation and find a prophylactic wrapper in their bed and a missing TV Guide. Kramer has an idea for a coffee table book on coffee tables that Elaine doesn't like but Mr. Lippman does.
Thursday, December 16th, 1993
s5e11: The Conversion
George changes his religion to Latvian Orthodox to keep his girlfriend who must break up with him for religious reasons. Jerry finds a tube of fungus cream in his girlfriend's medicine cabinet and fakes an illness until he can figure out what the cream is used for. He asks Elaine to ask her current boyfriend who's a podiatrist. Kramer meets a sister at George's new church who becomes infatuated with him.
Thursday, January 6th, 1994
s5e12: The Stall
While in a bathroom stall, Elaine needs some toilet paper, but the woman in the next stall refuses to give her a piece. The woman is Jerry's girlfriend whose voice Kramer recognizes from a telephone sex line. Elaine's boyfriend, whose face she just loves, takes George & Kramer rock climbing. After his accident, Elaine isn't sure his face will be the same.
Thursday, February 3rd, 1994
s5e13: The Dinner Party
The gang struggles to find gifts for a dinner party. Jerry and Elaine stop at a bakery to get a cake, but they forget to take a number and lose the chocolate pastry and the one they get has a hair on it. Kramer and George try to get the wine but must get change for a $100 dollar bill and wait for a double-parker to return to his car.
Thursday, February 10th, 1994
s5e14: The Marine Biologist
Jerry meets an old college classmate who asked about George, whom Jerry says is now a "marine biologist." An infuriated Russian writer tosses an electronic organizer belonging to Elaine out of a limousine that hits a passerby on the head. Kramer struggles with his golf swing and sand. While walking along the beach, George is called on to use his marine biology skills to save a whale.
Thursday, February 17th, 1994
s5e15: The Pie
Jerry can't believe that his girlfriend won't share a piece of pie with him. There is a mannequin at a store that looks like Elaine and she wants to know where it came from. George is interested in a suit that he makes an enemy over. Kramer has an itch. George's new suit makes a noise.
Thursday, February 24th, 1994
s5e16: The Stand-In
Kramer talks his stand-in friend, a "little person", into getting lifts to keep his job. Jerry visits a sick friend, who's in need of a good laugh, at the hospital. George and his latest girlfriend have nothing to say to each other, he wants to break up, but won't when he finds out she is being urged to break it off. One of Jerry's friends "takes it out" while on his first date with Elaine. Jerry's friend takes a turn for the worse after his first visit, so he tries again.
Thursday, March 17th, 1994
s5e17: The Wife
A girlfriend poses as Jerry's wife so she can get a dry cleaning discount. George uses the shower at the health club as a bathroom and is afraid of being turned in after being seen. Elaine is getting mixed signals from a male friend who may be interested. Kramer's getting ready to impress his girlfriend's parents.
Thursday, April 28th, 1994
s5e18: The Raincoats (1)
Jerry's parents are staying with him while they wait to take their trip to Paris and he's just returned from three weeks on the road can't get anytime alone with his girlfriend. George tries to get out of the big brother program, just after he gets talked into it. The Seinfelds avoid the Costanza's dinner invitation. Elaine's latest boyfriend, who's a "close talker," becomes unusually fixated on Jerry's parents and shows them New York City. Kramer makes a deal with Jerry's father to sell belt-less raincoats to a secondhand shop and George sells his father's moth-ridden cabana style clothing, right before they plan a cruise.
Thursday, April 28th, 1994
s5e19: The Raincoats (2)
Jerry and his girlfriend get some time alone with each other at a movie, Schindler's List, they don't see it; however, Newman sees it and them. A delay in the shipment of the raincoats will make the Seinfelds miss their flight to France, George uses this as an opportunity to get his "little" brother back to his father. The Seinfelds manage to avoid meeting the Costanzas in New York City.
Thursday, May 5th, 1994
s5e20: The Fire
Kramer is dating one of Elaine's co-workers, a woman who drives her crazy. Kramer brings her to one of Jerry's shows, where she heckles him relentlessly; unfortunately there is a national magazine critic in the audience. George panics when there is a fire at his girlfriend's apartment, during her son's birthday party. Jerry decides to get revenge by heckling the woman where she works. She runs out of the office onto the street and loses her pinkie toe. Kramer finds the toe, takes a bus to the hospital and saves the passengers from a gunman. Inspired by Kramer's tale, George tries to confront his feelings of cowardice.
Thursday, May 12th, 1994
s5e21: The Hamptons
Everyone makes a trip to the Hamptons to "see the baby" and enjoy the weekend. George's girlfriend goes topless and everyone sees her chest before he does. "The baby" is the most hideous thing they've ever seen. Elaine is confused when a handsome doctor refers to her as "breathtaking" - the same term he later uses to describe the baby. Kramer finds a filled lobster trap. Jerry's girlfriend sees George naked, after he's just gotten out of the pool, so something isn't as it should be.
Thursday, May 19th, 1994
s5e22: The Opposite
George comes to the realization that he should try to do the opposite of everything, so he does, his luck changes and everything begins to go his way including getting a girlfriend, a job with the Yankees and moving out of his parents' house. Things begin to be unlucky for Elaine after she buys a box of "Jujyfruits." Kramer appears on Regis & Kathie Lee to promote his coffee table book. Rachel wants to break up with Jerry and he readily agrees, because his luck has been "even Steven." Elaine's eating of "Jujyfruits" causes Pendant Publishing to go under, and later she realizes that she and George have traded places.
Thursday, September 22nd, 1994
s6e1: The Chaperone
Jerry gets a date with Miss Rhode Island, a Miss America contestant; when they need a chaperone Kramer is available. On the date, Kramer gives her advice and becomes her personal coach. Elaine tries to get a job at Doubleday, filling in the shoes once filled by Jackie Onassis; instead she gets a job being the personal assistant of a top executive who likes white socks. Meanwhile, George decides that the Yankees need to change their uniforms from polyester to cotton.
Thursday, September 29th, 1994
s6e2: The Big Salad
Elaine's boss wants a special mechanical pencil, so Elaine tries to get one from a stationary store where the clerk has a thing for her. George and his girlfriend pick up a "big salad" for Elaine, that his girlfriend gives to Elaine and she thanks her. Later, George points out that he bought the "big salad." Jerry discovers that his current girlfriend once dated Newman, who broke off his relationship with her. Kramer plays golf with an ex-ball player who breaks a rule of golf, they have a fight, and later the ball player is wanted for questioning in the murder of a dry cleaner, where a golf tee was involved. Kramer later helps him evade the police in a white Ford Bronco.
Thursday, October 6th, 1994
s6e3: The Pledge Drive
Jerry comments that a friend was hitting on him and Elaine tries to find out if what was true, but gets the voice of the woman and her current boyfriend confused. Elaine's boss eats his Snickers bar with a knife and fork and idea that soon catches on. George thinks a waitress gave him the finger. Jerry gets caught throwing away a thank you card. Jerry cashes some old birthday checks from his grandmother. Jerry's working a PBS pledge drive and gets George to bring a Yankee to appear with him, while en-route to the studio, someone gives George the finger.
Thursday, October 13th, 1994
s6e4: The Chinese Woman
Jerry and Elaine see George's father with a man with a cape but don't say hello. Jerry discovers a Chinese woman on George's phone line after the wires get crossed and he gets a date with her. Kramer gets worried about his sperm count, so he goes to a fertility clinic and then makes a change in his choice of undergarments. Elaine ruins her friend Noreen's latest romance with a long talker. The Chinese woman turns out to be Jewish and from Long Island. Estelle gets advice about her relationship with Frank from the Chinese woman, but discounts it when she meets her. George's life is made miserable when his parent's separate.
Thursday, October 27th, 1994
s6e5: The Couch
Elaine begins to date the guy who delivers Jerry's new couch. Kramer plans to start the pizza business he thought of back in "Male Unbonding" with Poppie. George joins a book club, but tries to rent the movie so he can bluff his way through the meeting. Jerry and Elaine's discussion of the abortion issue causes trouble for Poppie, Elaine's relationship & Jerry's new couch. George spends the evening with the family that has rented the film.
Thursday, November 3rd, 1994
s6e6: The Gymnast
George and Kramer convince Jerry he'll be missing out on something if he stops dating a Romanian Olympic gymnast. Jerry and Kramer find out about one of George's bathroom habits. Kramer must pass a kidney stone. The mother of George's girlfriend sees him eat something out of a trash bin, later cleaning a windshield & one of his bathroom habits. Elaine's boss becomes obsessed with finding the image in a 3-D painting, so he sends her to represent him in a huge merger deal.
Thursday, November 10th, 1994
s6e7: The Soup
Elaine brings over a man she met in England and he turns out to be a real bounder. Jerry accepts an Armani suit from an obnoxious comedian, the only condition, he must treat him to a meal at a restaurant; however, what makes up a meal. George goes for a walk with a waitress from Monk's and manure in the path sums up his relationship with her. After his kidney stone, Kramer decides to eat only fresh foods.
Thursday, November 17th, 1994
s6e8: The Mom & Pop Store
A salesman convinces George to buy a convertible once owned by "Jon Voight." Kramer tries to save a small shoe-repair business, but his good intentions affect Jerry in a big way. Elaine wins tickets for Mr. Pitt, who's always wanted to participate in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
Thursday, December 8th, 1994
s6e9: The Secretary
Jerry confronts his dry cleaner, whom he spotted wearing a jacket that he brought in for cleaning. George passes over hiring an attractive secretary for a less attractive one, he thinks he'll be able to get some work done; however, the secretary's efficiency turns him on, so he gets her a raise and then she makes more than he does. Kramer gets Uma Thurman's phone number and sells Bania his suit at a women's clothing store then he hides in a dressing room until he can get some clothing. At this same store, Elaine tries to buy a dress, but is unsatisfied with the size of the mirrors in the store.
Thursday, December 15th, 1994
s6e10: The Race
Through his current girlfriend, Lois, Jerry meets an old rival, who suspects that he cheated in a high school race and he wants a rematch with Jerry to prove he was faster. Elaine is put on a "blacklist" for Chinese food delivery and finds out her boyfriend is a Communist. George responds to a personal ad in a Communist newspaper while at work, when Steinbrenner hears about it, he wants to see George in his office. Through his friend Mickey, Kramer becomes a department store Santa, who later spouts out Communist propaganda.
Thursday, January 5th, 1995
s6e11: The Switch
Elaine lets a potential employer borrow Mr. Pitt's tennis racket, but the injury suffered may ruin her chances, especially when she must get his racket back. Jerry's girlfriend never laughs, but he meets her roommate who does, so Jerry decides he would like to make "the switch." George's model girlfriend may be bulimic. He needs proof, so he meets Kramer's mother, who's a bathroom matron. While there he finds out Kramer's first name, Cosmo. Kramer decides it is time to be himself and begins to use his first name. George has the perfect plan for "the switch," a menage a trois.
Thursday, January 19th, 1995
s6e12: The Label Maker
Elaine and Jerry are suspicious of a friend's gift, when a gift Elaine gave him, a label maker, is given to Jerry in return for some Superbowl tickets Jerry has but can't use because "The Drake" is getting married on Superbowl Sunday and he is in the wedding party. George convinces his girlfriend to get her male roommate to move out, that he soon regrets. Kramer takes playing a game of Risk against Newman seriously. The Superbowl tickets pass through several hands and Jerry sees the game with his worst nightmare.
Thursday, January 26th, 1995
s6e13: The Scofflaw
George meets an old friend who's spent the last few months undergoing chemotherapy, that everyone knew except him. Kramer calls a litterbug "a pig" near a cop who's on a quest to catch a longtime parking ticket scofflaw. Kramer wanting to change his image, asks Elaine where her old boyfriend got his glasses. He goes to see him at a book signing and says hi for Elaine, that means that she has lost the "upper hand" in their breakup, so she confronts him and then gets even by getting a copy of his glasses. George finds out from Gary, that he lied about his cancer and has been taking advantage of Jerry's kindness. Kramer discovers the identity of "the scofflaw." George gets a toupee.
Thursday, February 2nd, 1995
s6e14: The Highlights of 100 (1)
Jerry introduces a program that shows highlights from the first 99 episodes of a "show about nothing."
Thursday, February 2nd, 1995
s6e15: The Highlights of 100 (2)
Jerry introduces a program that shows highlights from the first 99 episodes of a "show about nothing."
Thursday, February 9th, 1995
s6e16: The Beard
Elaine tries to convert a gay man to heterosexuality. George, who's now wearing his toupee, discovers that the woman Kramer has set him up with, is bald. Kramer gives a homeless man some Chinese food and begins standing in police lineups for $50 a lineup. Jerry begins to date a cop, but she wants him to take a lie detector test, she thinks he is lying about NOT watching Melrose Place.
Thursday, February 16th, 1995
s6e17: The Kiss Hello
Elaine's friend, a physical therapist, whom Jerry must "kiss hello," has an old style hairdo, that Jerry and Elaine want Kramer to comment on. Jerry's grandmother wants him to open a ketchup bottle and she tells a story about some money that Uncle Leo was supposed to give his sister. Jerry's father is anxious to collect the money and interest Leo owes. Kramer puts tenant pictures up in the lobby and soon Jerry is giving every woman in the building, the "kiss hello"; however, when he stops, he becomes unpopular. George gets his arm looked at, misses a follow up appointment and must pay for that visit. The therapist skips out on her patients, including George, and goes skiing with Elaine. After their trip, she drops Elaine off 3 blocks from her apartment. Elaine injures her shoulder carrying her equipment home, and can't get any complementary treatment. Jerry gets proof of his uncle's dishonesty.
Thursday, February 23rd, 1995
s6e18: The Doorman
The doorman in Mr. Pitt's building causes trouble for Jerry who was only trying to be nice. Kramer robs George on the street for some German tourists. George's father is living with him and when he removes his shirt, George and Kramer see that he has breasts. So, Kramer develops a new undergarment for males ("The Bro" or "The Manssiere") that will alleviate this problem. Jerry offers his soiled couch to replace the one that was stolen while he was "on duty."
Thursday, March 16th, 1995
s6e19: The Jimmy
The guys play a game of basketball with "the Jimmy," a man who talks about himself in the third person. Jimmy sells odd shaped training shoes and George is an interested investor. Fresh from the gym, he attends a Yankees meeting about thefts, during which he sweats profusely. Jerry goes to the dental office and discovers they now carry Penthouse in the waiting room. Elaine gets tickets to a benefit for the AMCA (Able Mentally Challenged Adults) featuring Mel Torme, the "Velvet Fog." Elaine tries to meet a handsome guy at the gym, but instead talks with "the Jimmy," who makes the date for himself. On a follow-up visit to the dental office, Jerry feels the dentist and his hygienist may have lived out a fantasy during his time in the chair, the type of thing you might read in Penthouse. Kramer has a visit to the dentist complete with Novocain, later while wearing a pair of Jimmy's shoes, winds up getting a him a seat at the main table of the benefit.
Thursday, April 6th, 1995
s6e20: The Doodle
Jerry is disgusted when he finds out he was eating pecans that were just in his girlfriend's mouth. George finds a doodle that his girlfriend drew of him. Kramer is eating some tasty peaches that come in season for two weeks every year. Fleas force Jerry and his visiting parents out his apartment. Elaine has an interview with a publisher that has suite of rooms at a fancy hotel and that is where Jerry parents get to stay. Jerry stays with his girlfriend. Elaine must go into Jerry's fumigated apartment to get an unpublished manuscript that she is supposed to read for her interview and she can't find it, but Kramer read it in Jerry's apartment and the gas causes him to lose his sense of taste. George finds out that his girlfriend really doesn't care what he looks like. Jerry figures out that Newman gave him the fleas. Meanwhile, Jerry's parents, Uncle Leo and Nana live high on the hog at the hotel.
Thursday, April 27th, 1995
s6e21: The Fusilli Jerry
Estelle is getting an eye job. Kramer gets his new license plates from the DMV, but the plates say "ASSMAN." Jerry is disturbed when he finds out his mechanic used his "move" on Elaine while making love to her. Kramer makes a statue of Jerry out of fusilli pasta and he makes the most of his new license plates. Jerry confronts his mechanic and later requires his services. Frank becomes the unwitting victim of one of those "freak" accidents proctologists are always telling stories about.
Thursday, May 4th, 1995
s6e22: The Diplomat's Club
After his quick trip to Ithaca, Jerry plans to meet a super model at an airport club, but his assistant, Katie, makes the trip a nightmare. Elaine says she will quit working for Mr. Pitt, but finds out that she's going to be in his will. She becomes a suspect when he overdoses his medication. George tries to prove to his boss that he is not a racist, when he says his boss looks like "Sugar" Ray Leonard. To prove it, he tries to find anyone who's black that will be his friend. While at the airport club, Kramer meets a rich Texan with whom he starts making bets. Kramer hasn't gambled in three years and when he begins to lose, he calls in Newman for reinforcement.
Thursday, May 11th, 1995
s6e23: The Face Painter
George and his girlfriend discuss toilet paper and he is in love. Elaine's boyfriend paints his face and his behavior at a hockey game, disturbs Jerry, Elaine and a passing priest. A monkey throws a banana peel at Kramer, when he throws it back, the monkey becomes depressed and the zoo demands an apology. George tries to tell his girlfriend that he loves her, but her reaction surprises him. Jerry refuses to give the "necessary" follow-up courtesy thank you for the hockey tickets and Kramer is outraged.
Thursday, May 18th, 1995
s6e24: The Understudy
George and Jerry are suspected by the cast and Kramer of deliberately injuring Bette Midler during a softball game, giving Jerry's girlfriend, Bette's understudy, a chance to perform. Kramer becomes Bette's personal assistant. Elaine gets George's father to translate for her when she suspects that her manicurist has made some obvious snide remarks in a foreign tongue. While crying about losing her manicurists, Elaine meets the owner of a catalog, J. Peterman, and gets herself a new job.
Thursday, September 21st, 1995
s7e1: The Engagement
Jerry and George reevaluate their relationships with women, so they make "a pact" to change their ways, though Jerry doesn't know it. Elaine has a problem sleeping in her new apartment because of a nearby constantly barking dog; Kramer recommends a solution. George gets back with Susan, his former girlfriend from NBC; he asks her to marry him, and after a couple hours of convincing she says yes. Kramer, his solution (Newman) and Elaine commit a dognapping and take the dog far out of the city. Jerry breaks up with his girlfriend again; however, George is now trapped in his relationship with Susan, almost to the point where he is married already. Elaine almost gets a good night of sleep.
Thursday, September 28th, 1995
s7e2: The Postponement
Elaine's dog problem is solved by a neighborly rabbi with a cable show. Kramer's involvement in the dognapping worries him when he finds out about its impact on his permanent record. Overwhelmed with it all, George decides he wants to postpone the engagement. Elaine isn't "concerned" with George's intentions, but is really jealous that he's the first of the group to get engaged. The neighborly rabbi offers advice on her problem, that he later relates to Jerry and anyone else who'll listen. Kramer and Jerry try to see "Plan 9 From Outer Space"; however, Kramer "tries" to sneak in a gourmet coffee, spills it and his lawyer says he has a case.
Thursday, October 5th, 1995
s7e3: The Maestro
George is feeling the pressures of his relationship with Susan and decides that he needs to help a security guard that works at her uncle's store. Kramer's friend "Maestro," makes a comment about getting a rental property in Tuscany that makes Jerry decide to do some research. Elaine begins dating the "Maestro." Kramer's out of court settlement in his lawsuit against the coffee house, free coffee at any location around the world, gets him "hopped up on the caffeine." Jerry asks Poppy about Tuscany and is referred to Poppy's cousin, who makes him an offer he can't refuse.
Thursday, October 12th, 1995
s7e4: The Wink
Elaine gets a blind date with the guy from her wake-up service; however, he likes dogs. A bit of grapefruit pulp, from Jerry's healthy breakfast, gets into George's eye and causes problems for him when his winks keep getting misinterpreted. Jerry's healthy diet conflicts with his dating of Elaine's cousin. Kramer promises a sick boy that Yankee Paul O'Neill will hit two home runs for him, so he can get back a birthday card that he sold based on George's wink.
Thursday, October 19th, 1995
s7e5: The Hot Tub
George picks up a bad habit from some visiting baseball officials. During the time of the New York City Marathon, Elaine has an out of country runner as her house guest. The runner had overslept and missed the big race at the last Olympics and Jerry obsesses with ensuring that it doesn't happen again. Kramer gets a hot tub from his friend Lomez and Elaine has writer's block.
Thursday, November 2nd, 1995
s7e6: The Soup Nazi
While on their way to the "soup place" Elaine finds an antique armoire she wants. George makes a mistake while trying to get his soup from the "Soup Nazi." Elaine isn't allowed to move her armoire into her building, so Kramer offers to watch it for her, out on the street. George and Elaine discuss how annoyed they are by Jerry's sweet-talking with his current girlfriend, especially their calling each other "Schmoopie." Elaine makes an ordering error in front of the "Soup Nazi," gets on his bad side and is banned for a year. In broad daylight and in Kramer's presence, two "tough" guys come along and take Elaine's armoire. Kramer relates the story of the armoire to the "Soup Nazi," who says he has an armoire in the basement that Kramer can have. Jerry's girlfriend makes a faux pas in the "soup place" and Jerry disavows any knowledge of her. George confronts Jerry and reminds him about their pact. George and Susan see Jerry and his girlfriend at the diner and they begin to compete against each other. Susan appreciates that George is finally showing his feelings in public. Kramer gives Elaine the armoire and tells her where he got it. Elaine goes to thank the "Soup Nazi" but gets even further on his bad side. Jerry discovers the armoire contains the "Soup Nazi"'s recipes and Elaine takes them for her final confrontation with the "Soup Nazi."
Thursday, November 9th, 1995
s7e7: The Secret Code
George tries to keep his ATM code a secret from Susan. Elaine is puzzled by a man she once met at a party and talked to for ten minutes, doesn't remember her, but he does remember other party details. Leapin' Larry, a one-legged man, wants Jerry to do spots for his store, but he is angered when he thinks Jerry is doing an impression of him. Kramer gets an emergency band scanner and decides to help reorganize operations at the NYFD. Elaine doesn't want to go on a date with her boss, the storyteller, so she leaves Jerry and George at the restaurant. Jerry escapes, but George isn't as lucky. He is forced to accompany Peterman to his Momma's house, where he winds up staying all night and tells her his secret code before she dies. That is her last word. George's code is needed in a life or death situation.
Thursday, November 16th, 1995
s7e8: The Pool Guy
Elaine has tickets for a historical clothing exhibit and realizes that she has no female friends; Jerry suggests that she ask Susan. Kramer suggests that is the wrong move and that George's worlds will collide. Jerry meets his pool guy outside a movie, and then he can't get rid of him. George is worried by Elaine wanting to get to know Susan, then he finds out it was Jerry's idea. Kramer's new phone number is similar to a film information line. When Kramer keeps getting wrong numbers, he begins giving out the information for movie show times a la "Moviefone."
Thursday, December 7th, 1995
s7e9: The Sponge
Jerry finds the number of girl he wants to contact on Kramer's AIDS walk sponsor list. After finding out that her preferred method of birth control is only available in a limited supply, Elaine must decide whether her current boyfriend is "sponge worthy." George tells Susan the secret of the size of Jerry's jeans and that leads to a fight about all secrets, he tells her another of Jerry's secrets when they make up. Jerry finds out that George told Susan one of his secrets and now he's "out of the loop." Elaine adjusts her screening process to find worthy candidates. Kramer causes a disturbance at the AIDS walk when he won't "wear the ribbon."
Thursday, December 14th, 1995
s7e10: The Gum
Kramer is active in the re-opening of an old movie theater. He also is keeping an eye on a friend, Lloyd, who's recovering from a nervous breakdown. Lloyd has a pack of Chinese gum that Kramer insists everyone tries. George thinks the cashier short-changed him and meets a former neighbor (who's had a breakdown) and his daughter, Deena. George lets his former neighbor look at his car. Elaine tries to avoid interacting with Lloyd, loses a button from her blouse and reveals herself to Lloyd and Kramer. Because of Elaine's lie, Jerry must wear glasses while around Lloyd. Deena tells George that she thinks he is showing signs of being on the verge of a breakdown. George's car, once owned by "Jon Voight", catches fire. Elaine shows more to Lloyd. Jerry gets more gum. George keeps trying to convince Deena he's not crazy.
Thursday, January 4th, 1996
s7e11: The Rye
Elaine is dating a jazz saxophonist who's sponge-worthy but "he doesn't really like to do everything." Jerry tells one of the members of his band that the saxophonist and Elaine are "hot and heavy." Kramer stocks up on supplies, including 50 cans of "Beef-A-Reeno". Susan's parents meet and have dinner with the Costanza's for the first time. Both families obsess over a loaf of rye bread that wasn't served with the meal, which Frank takes back home. Elaine's boyfriend writes a song about "their relationship," which later has a big impact on his career. Kramer takes over a friend's horse-drawn carriage for a week and helps George out with his scheme to replace the rye bread. Unfortunately, he feeds the horse a can of "Beef-A-Reeno" right before giving the Ross's their ride. Jerry manages to get his hands on a loaf of marble rye.
Thursday, January 25th, 1996
s7e12: The Caddy
Kramer befriends a caddy, who helps him to improve his golf game and offer his other advice. George's bosses consider him for a promotion when they think he is so dedicated to his work that he is there in the morning before everyone else and still there after they all leave. They don't know that he's just been leaving his car in the parking lot waiting for his free visit from a locksmith. Taking advantage of the situation, he and Susan go up north to her parent's rebuilt cabin. Elaine meets an old rival who's heir to the Oh Henry! candy bar fortune and has never worn a bra. She wears the bra as a top and cause Kramer and Jerry to have an accident with George's car. With George's damaged car in the parking lot, the Yankees think he's dead. Steinbrenner breaks the news to the Costanza's. Kramer and Elaine take her rival to court and only Jerry may stand in the way.
Thursday, February 1st, 1996
s7e13: The Seven
Elaine sees a girl's bike she wants, but she strains her neck trying to getting the bike down from the wall. In pain she promises the bike to whoever fixes her neck. Kramer saves the day and wants the bike. George is angry when Susan's cousin chooses to name her baby with the name he planned to give his first offspring. He desperately tries to convince them to use another name. Kramer works out an arrangement with Jerry to keep track of what he takes from Jerry's kitchen. Jerry is curious when his girlfriend is always wearing the same dress, every time they go out.
Thursday, February 8th, 1996
s7e14: The Cadillac (1)
Jerry surprises his parents by buying them a new Cadillac, when his last job really pays well. Kramer, who now knows how much Jerry makes, says it will change their relationship. It certainly changes his relationship with Elaine, she's interested again. George reconsiders his engagement when one of Elaine's friends tells him that she could have set him up with Oscar winning actress, Marisa Tomei. The cable company wants to see Kramer and he takes the opportunity to get revenge on them. George wants to meet Marisa for a cup of coffee, even when Elaine's friend is in the hospital with a heart condition. Jack Klompus accuses Morty of embezzling funds to pay for his new Cadillac.
Thursday, February 8th, 1996
s7e15: The Cadillac (2)
Kramer continues to play with the cable guy. George's obsession with Marisa makes Susan suspicious. Elaine calls Jerry in Florida and tells him she wants to come and join him. Elaine gets George Marisa's phone number and now he needs her for an alibi (which involves her "boyfriend" Art Vandelay, an importer/ exporter). Morty's ace in the hole, to keep him from impeachment, is the woman that Jerry stole the marble rye from, only she doesn't remember him, at least at first. The cable guy zeros in on Kramer, but he gets away. George's meeting with Marisa doesn't go as well as planned and Susan thinks he's having an affair with Elaine. The cable guy concedes defeat.
Thursday, February 15th, 1996
s7e16: The Shower Head
Elaine gets a physical for a pending trip with Peterman to Africa. Her physical test results show positive for opium, so Peterman fires her. Jerry's parent are in seclusion in New York while biding time until they can move back to Florida. George tries to convince his parents to move to Florida. The shower heads in Jerry's building are being replaced with a new low-flow model; Newman finds a source for black market shower heads. The Seinfelds tell the Costanzas that there is no room for them in Florida that gives Frank all the incentive he needs to move. George is delighted. Elaine finds the cause of her opium addiction and finds a donor for her next physical. Jerry makes a joke on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno at the expense of Uncle Leo and he pays the price for making fun of the family.
Thursday, February 22nd, 1996
s7e17: The Doll
Susan's old roommate from college, Sally Weaver, gives Jerry a package that she wants him to be careful with; which he is, but he loses his own package in the process. Frank tells George he is turning his room into a billiard room. Elaine tells Frank about a man she saw in Tuscany who looks just like him, Frank thinks it may be the cousin who stayed behind. Kramer challenges him to a game where the space is a bit tight. Jerry is enthusiastic about a new toothbrush, which he is convinced Elaine must have. Susan has a doll that looks uncannily like George's mother; she doesn't believe it, but he does and it affects his performance. Jerry is going to be on Charles Grodin's show with one of the Three Tenors, not Pavarotti or Domingo, but "the other guy." Elaine goes with him the studio, to replace an autographed picture of "the other guy," for "the Maestro" that was damaged while they were in Tuscany. "The Maestro" provides a new fashion for Kramer and Frank while playing pool, and his baton is an answer to the space problem in the billiard room. Susan's roommate comes to town. She tries to help Jerry out by bringing him back a better barbecue sauce and bringing a doll to the studio for Jerry, which in her opinion, is much funnier than the one Jerry wanted. Jerry has no material for his appearance.
Thursday, March 7th, 1996
s7e18: The Friars Club
George is happy because he has a three-month reprieve. The wedding is delayed until June (just in time for the end of the May sweeps and a cliffhanger!). Meanwhile he is also excited because Jerry is going to go out with Susan's best friend. He envisions their friendship in the future as being "Gatsby"-like. Jerry is trying to get into the Friars Club, but loses a jacket he "borrowed" for dinner there, at a performance of comedic jugglers that was "worked on" by Susan's friend. Kramer tries to duplicate the sleeping patterns of Da Vinci and falls asleep at some inopportune moments; one of which puts him put in the Hudson River. Peterman hires a deaf employee and Elaine suffers the consequences, when she gets loaded with some of his work. Trying to see how deaf he really is, Elaine comes on to him, which Peterman overhears and tries to help out their budding relationship.
Thursday, April 4th, 1996
s7e19: The Wig Master
Jerry uses Elaine to prove that a sales clerk is wrong about his looking at an expensive jacket. Elaine is picked up by the clerk. George has an unwanted house guest, a wig master for the touring company of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." He also has found a parking lot that charges $75 dollars a month; Kramer decides to put his car there. Unfortunately, he leaves his apartment key there. When he can't get his key, he is allowed to borrow a pink Cadillac. Jerry is convinced the clerk is working Elaine. George discovers why the lot is so cheap, he finds a used condom in his car and is asking a prostitute for information, just as Susan approaches. George discovers that he may have an out with Susan; she says she must be able to trust him and have no doubts. Kramer stays at Jerry's apartment. Elaine has a walking stick she lets Kramer have. Jerry tries to return his jacket, but discovers that "spite" isn't a viable reason. Kramer is allowed to borrow the back up "Electric Color Dreamcoat." Jerry is put out, when both sexes assume he isn't in a relationship with the person he is with (Elaine in one instance, the Wig Master in the other). Kramer finds a fuzzy white hat. With all the parts put together, his new ensemble is a sight to behold, just ask the NYPD after he is caught pulling a prostitute out of his borrowed car.
Thursday, April 25th, 1996
s7e20: The Calzone
George becomes Steinbrenner's pet, when he shares an eggplant calzone with him. Kramer is raving about wearing clothes "straight out of the dryer." Jerry thinks that Elaine's boyfriend is dating her without really ever asking her out. He offers to bring Jerry some Cuban cigars from Canada. Jerry takes advantage of his girlfriend's ability to get anything she wants. Kramer searches for quarters for the dryer; when he can't find anymore, he starts using an oven. George gets into tip trouble with the counter guy at the calzone shop and he works out an arrangement with Newman. That is unless of course it's raining (Newman doesn't deliver mail in the rain); Kramer helps out.
Thursday, May 2nd, 1996
s7e21: The Bottle Deposit (1)
George doesn't hear the details on an important project that Wilhelm wants him to champion. Peterman wants Elaine to bid on a set of golf clubs at the Kennedy auction, her ceiling is $10,000; however, she gets into a bidding war with Sue Ellen, the Oh Henry! candy heiress. Consequently, she spends a bit more than she was authorized. Newman finds the missing ingredient to make it cost effective in Kramer's scheme to collect used pop bottles and cans and take them to Michigan where the refund is doubled. Jerry takes his car to a mechanic, who's fanatical about car care. Elaine meets Jerry to get the golf clubs out of his car, but the mechanic, distraught over Jerry's negligence, steals it. Kramer and Newman collect their bottles and cans and hit the road in a mail truck.
Thursday, May 2nd, 1996
s7e22: The Bottle Deposit (2)
Wilhelm is delighted with the job George did on the project; however, he has no idea what he did or how he did it. The detective on the case thinks he's found Jerry's car, damaged beyond recognition. It's not, and later Jerry's mechanic calls him from the car. Kramer spots Jerry's car in Ohio. Steinbrenner calls George into his office about the project report and has him committed. Kramer ditches the cans, bottles, mailbags and Newman in pursuit of Jerry's car. Newman finds a farmer's house, complete with the proverbial daughter. The mechanic throws the clubs and bag at Kramer's truck, allowing him to get away. Deena is happy to see that George is getting the help he needs. Peterman is stunned when he finally gets the clubs, "Elaine, I never knew Kennedy had such a temper."
Thursday, May 9th, 1996
s7e23: The Wait Out
After George makes an off-hand remark to a married couple with a rocky relationship, Jerry and Elaine wait in anticipation of their inevitable separation. Elaine sports a new hairstyle, starts driving again and almost makes Jerry car sick. Kramer starts wearing jeans again. The jeans are much too tight, so tight in fact, that he can't get them off when he really needs to. Elaine and Jerry make plans to move in on the separated couple, which they do. George feels guilty about breaking up the marriage and wishes to undo the damage. Jerry and Elaine physically oppose this action. David returns the off-hand remark to George in the presence of Susan. She tells George she has to think about some things- he thinks it is his ticket out.
Thursday, May 16th, 1996
s7e24: The Invitations
As the big day grows nearer, George and Susan order their invitations. Susan lets him choose the cheap ones. George tries to think of a way out. Elaine suggests smoking and Kramer suggests a pre-nuptial agreement. Jerry, thinking of a single future with Kramer, nearly gets hit by a car but is saved by his female equivalent, Jeannie. Jerry thinks he is in love with Jeannie. Kramer tries to cash in on a bank's offer of a $100 if one of their tellers doesn't say hello. Is "Hey," hello? George tries the suggestions and strikes out. Susan begins preparing the invitations. Jerry makes a decision. Susan passes out while licking envelopes. Jerry proposes marriage; later he has second thoughts. George finds Susan and the gang meets him over at the hospital, where George gets the news, he's out. Free at last, George makes another attempt at Marisa Tomei.
Thursday, September 19th, 1996
s8e1: The Foundation
Months after her death, George is ready to move on, but Susan's parents want to keep her memory alive. Kramer becomes a karate master, where his opponents are equals in his skill level, but are lacking in size. Jerry runs into Dolores, you remember "her name rhymed with a female body part" in "The Junior Mint," she suggests that they get together again. Peterman has a breakdown and goes to Burma leaving Elaine in charge; a position she is reluctant to assume. Kramer makes a speech that inspires Elaine to go and take charge of J. Peterman. Inspired by a comment that Jerry made, a foundation is established in Susan's name, which will take up all of George's free time. Jerry and Dolores do get together; however, when she hears why Jerry's engagement was broken off, she leaves commenting that he still hasn't matured. Elaine sees Kramer's opponents, vents her frustration and takes him down in front of the class. Jerry decides to research breakups and the effect on future relationships. Kramer's classmates meet him after class. George discovers everything he lost when he lost Susan.
Thursday, September 26th, 1996
s8e2: The Soul Mate
George thinks the foundation lawyer thinks he might have killed Susan, Jerry suggests using a method employed by Jerry Lewis to find out. Kramer falls for Jerry's girlfriend and he consults Newman for advice. Elaine's friends insist that she have a baby, she'd rather not and meets a man who shares her ideals. George leaves a running tape recorder in his brief case at the next board meeting and leaves the room. He returns to find the briefcase damaged and the tape stopped. Newman gets in the middle of Jerry and Kramer's relationship with Pam; he bribes Jerry in hopes to find out more about his obsession, Elaine. Meanwhile, her new boyfriend gets a vasectomy to show her how committed he is to not having children. The guys find out Pam isn't interested in having children and they line up for their own vasectomies. George gets to the bottom of what happened to his briefcase.
Thursday, October 3rd, 1996
s8e3: The Bizarro Jerry
Kramer uses a bathroom in an office building and just begins working there. He is "TCB." Elaine sets Jerry up with a friend who is very beautiful, but she has "man hands." George uses a picture of her and passes her off as his dead finance Susan; that gets him into the "Forbidden City" where high priced models hang out. Elaine meets Kevin and some of his friends; they are the exact opposite of Jerry, George and Kramer. With Kramer working, George inside the walls and Elaine hanging out with Kevin, Jerry begins to feel alone.
Thursday, October 10th, 1996
s8e4: The Little Kicks
Elaine reluctantly lets George attend a party she is throwing at work. "Sweet fancy Moses" exclaims George when he sees Elaine dance at a party she's holding for her employees. She wonders why they've lost respect for her. Jerry gets 2 tickets to a premiere of a film. Kramer asks him to get an extra ticket for his friend Brody. Elaine thinks the loss of respect might be due to George's influence, so she makes him off limits to Anna, one of the women George talked to at the party. That "bad boy" image makes him all the more desirable. Jerry and Kramer attend the film with Brody, who begins to make a bootleg tape. Brody gets sick and has Kramer take him home, leaving Jerry to finish making the tape. Jerry worries about the implications when Brody likes him camera work and asks him to do another film. However, he complains about the quality of Kramer's work. Elaine finds out the truth about her dancing after she tapes herself. Elaine apologizes to Anna and George, which suddenly makes him undesirable. Brody won't meet Jerry's demands for equipment; George takes on the challenge, but gets arrested. Frank comes to bail him out and Elaine lets him know the truth about his son. Elaine's dance becomes a big hit on the streets of New York.
Thursday, October 17th, 1996
s8e5: The Package
Elaine has a rash and looks for a doctor who will treat her; despite her doctor -- patient relationship reputation. Kramer offers Jerry a method to get a refund on his stereo that is two years out of warranty. George discovers the woman at the photo store is looking at his pictures. Jerry refuses delivery of a package with no return address. George thinks that the photo store clerk has stuck a revealing picture of herself in with his pictures. Kramer convinces George to return the compliment and offers to take the photos. Uncle Leo signs for Jerry's package. Elaine tries to lift her medical records. Jerry lets Uncle Leo open the package and there is the sound of an explosion. Leo's stove has exploded but eventually Jerry gets the package and opens it up. It contains his stereo in pieces. Kramer sent the package to him insured; now all they must do is collect the insurance money from the post office. Elaine poses as Uncle Leo's nurse to try a diagnosis for her condition. When that doesn't work she tries to get Kramer to lift her records. Newman grills Jerry on suspicion of mail fraud. George drops off his film at the photo store and gets a surprising result.
Thursday, October 31st, 1996
s8e6: The Fatigues
Jerry is intrigued by the concept of his girlfriend having a mentor. George prepares to give a lecture on risk management by reading a book, but realizes that books on tape have spoiled him. Elaine prepares to fire an employee, but when face to face with him, she promotes him. Kramer runs a Jewish singles night at Frank's Knights of Columbus hall. Jerry meets his girlfriend's mentor, but she is dating Kenny Bania. George discovers the blind can get any book on tape, so he plans to fail an eye test. Elaine's recently promoted employee has some startling new ideas. She plans to promote him again. Kramer's party plans go awry when he has to cook for over 150 plus people. He needs to get Frank's advice on cooking for the masses, despite George's warning. Elaine's promotional plan backfires, when the rest of her staff quits. Jerry's girlfriend sees Bania's act and loses respect for her mentor. Elaine tries working with her employee. George figures out an angle to get his book read. Jerry finds himself becoming Bania's mentor. Jerry and his now ex-girlfriend get their files mixed up; George speaks on Ovaltine and Bania on risk management. Frank's cooking skills are reborn, until he sees someone choking.
Thursday, November 7th, 1996
s8e7: The Checks
Elaine's new boyfriend, Brett, is obsessed with designer furniture and the song "Desperado." Jerry spots an umbrella salesman using the sales technique he invented. The salesman says it was someone else. Hundreds of twelve-cent royalty checks keep arriving from Jerry's brief appearance on a Japanese television. Kramer warns George that the carpet cleaners he hired are actually a front for a religious cult. Intrigued, George tries to be converted, but they're not interested. Kramer meets some Japanese businessman and he takes them on the town and to the cleaners. He is a little confused about the exchange rate. Brett delivers a large chest of drawers to Kramer and thinks that Jerry might be jealous. Kramer thinks the TV pilot that Jerry and George did would be perfect for Japanese television. They pitch it to a couple of Japanese TV executives. Elaine tries to find a song that she and Brett can share. Kramer puts his Japanese friends up at his place. They're sleeping in the chest of drawers. Jerry caught in the rain meets the man in the street that claims credit for the twirl. He also meets Brett who is convinced Jerry is down on his luck. George gets the cleaners to do the offices at Yankee Stadium where they find a new recruit. Because of the humidity from the hot tub, Kramer's guests get stuck in the chest. Jerry, with writer's cramp from check signing, uses a fire ax to open the chest. That scares the Japanese guests and injures Brett who passes out.
Thursday, November 14th, 1996
s8e8: The Chicken Roaster
George reveals a strategy to guarantee a second date with women - leaving an object behind at their place. However, this strategy gets Elaine into trouble, when George leaves behind a sable hat she shouldn't have charged to the Peterman expense account. Meanwhile, the red neon sign of a new Kenny Rogers Roasters restaurant beams directly into Kramer's apartment. Jerry and Kramer then switch apartments, and end up switching personalities as well.
Thursday, November 21st, 1996
s8e9: The Abstinence
George's girlfriend has mononucleosis and he can't have sex with her for six weeks. Elaine's met a doctor who's almost gotten his license to practice. Jerry agrees to appear at career day at his former junior high school, first he is bumped and then there is a fire drill. Kramer lights up a cigar in Monk's and is asked to leave. He meets others on the street who face his dilemma so he opens up his apartment as a smoking lounge. Jerry's agent gets him an assembly at the school. George's lack of sex makes his mind sharper. Elaine learns how much her doctor boyfriend doesn't know about medicine. She uses George's technique to help him study to get his license, but in the process she becomes an idiot. Jerry struggles to figure out how to fill two hours in front of a junior high crowd. George uses his new found intellect to give batting advice, speaks Portuguese and prepares a presentation for Jerry's assembly. Kramer sees his lawyer about a case against the tobacco company, smoking has destroyed his looks. He gets a settlement without Jackie's input. George calculates the odds of scoring with a Portuguese waitress. Elaine's boyfriend gets his license and leaves her sexless.
Thursday, December 19th, 1996
s8e10: The Andrea Doria
George is excited about the new apartment he is going to move into. Elaine is on a blind date, now called a "set-up." Jerry takes Kramer to his self-storage where they discover that Newman has been hiding bags of mail. George finds out he can't get his apartment because the tenant association is going to give it to an Andrea Doria survivor. Elaine is told her date won't be making it because he's been stabbed. She is aroused by the situation. Kramer's cold is getting bad and he's not going to the doctor, they botched his vasectomy, he's more potent now than ever. Jerry tries to get Newman to get rid of the mail; however, he's not interested because he didn't get the transfer to Hawaii. Kramer finds a dog with a cold that he volunteers to take to the vet, so he can get medicine for their colds. Elaine meets her blind date who gets coffee thrown in his face from another ex-girlfriend. She discovers his problem is that he is a "bad breaker upper." George confronts his rival for the apartment and decides to wage war. Elaine's blind date breaks up with her and tells she has "a big head." From a suggestion by Jerry, George asks for a hearing with the association and tells them the story of his life. Jerry forms "an alliance" with Newman that will hopefully get him out of his life forever. Jerry tries to get Kramer to take his medication. He discovers that Kramer is taking dog medication and beginning to exhibit the signs of being a dog. The big head comment begins to hold true for Elaine and she makes a comment about jamming "a fork in his forehead." Jerry tries to take Kramer to a real doctor. After Kramer bites Newman's ankle, Jerry offers to deliver the rest of his mail. He is too efficient for the post office. Elaine meets up with her blind date and makes good on her promise. Kramer saves the day. George and the survivor don't get the apartment.
Thursday, January 9th, 1997
s8e11: The Little Jerry
Everyone makes a comment about a bad check of Jerry's that is on display at Marcelino's store. Through the Foundation, George gets the opportunity to visit a women's prison. He is disappointed when the facility doesn't meet his impression of what he thinks a women's prison is. He does however meet a convict that he decides to ask out. He enjoys the liberation that dating a convict offers. Kramer gets a new pet, a rooster that he names "Little Jerry Seinfeld"; of course he really wanted a hen for the eggs. Jerry's parents find out about the check and offer to send money. Elaine finds out her bald boyfriend once had a fine head of hair. She convinces him to start growing it back, but when he does he shows signs of hair-loss. He begins to feel despondent. George's dream relationship hangs on the brink, Celia's up for parole. Kramer enters "Little Jerry" in a cockfight that if he wins, Jerry's bad check will be taken down. George is a character witness for Celia's parole hearing; he testifies to try keeping her in. Jerry's bad check doesn't come down, because Marcelino wants Jerry to do something for him first. Kurt seeks hair-loss advice from George that causes him to propose to Elaine. Jerry and Kramer train "Little Jerry" for the big cockfight. George experiences "fugitive sex" when Celia breaks out after her parole was denied. Celia is tracked down and Kurt is mistaken for George. Marcelino brings a ringer in for the big fight; Kramer tries to save "Little Jerry" but pays the price.
Thursday, January 16th, 1997
s8e12: The Money
Jerry's parents sell the Cadillac to Jack Klompus for $6000 in order to give Jerry some money to help him out. They along with Kramer suggest that Jerry might try a career move. Elaine talks about her Peterman stock options and buys George's coffee. He thinks she is sticking it to him. Jerry and George talk about the money their parents might have. This piques George's interest. Kramer seeks advice from Elaine about his girlfriend's post-sex bed habit "she's got the jimmy legs." Jerry flies to Florida to buy the Cadillac back. George seeks information on his family's health history. Kramer works out a deal with his girlfriend. Jerry meets with Klompus and agrees to pay $14,000 for it. George anticipating a big inheritance begins to spend money. Unfortunately for him, so do his parents. Klompus has a problem with the car and Jerry returns to Florida. Jerry's parents are still worried about him and wonder what to do. Morty decides to see Elaine about a job; she reluctantly agrees to give him a job, just as Peterman returns. Kramer, fearing a prowler (Jerry's dad), decides he can no longer sleep alone; unfortunately his girlfriend has decided she can. So he moves in with the Costanzas, who tell George that they are moving to Florida. Elaine returns to her regular position at Peterman, with no options. George and Elaine try to discuss their respective problems. Still in Florida, strapped for cash and credit, Jerry sleeps in the Cadillac. Kramer and Emily spend the night as an old married couple in the Costanzas' house. The Seinfelds make a change in their housing as the Costanzas try to settle into their new place.
Thursday, January 30th, 1997
s8e13: The Comeback
George has trouble thinking of a comeback to a comment made by Reilly; he does think of one, but it's a little to late. Jerry buys a new tennis racket from a supposed professional. Elaine and Kramer discuss video picks. Elaine prefers picks by Vincent. He prefers picks by Gene or his own. He watches his latest pick and it makes him concerned about spending the rest of his life in a coma. Elaine is intrigued when she receives a phone call from the mysterious Vincent. Jerry discovers that the tennis pro is a hack player. George comes up with what he thinks is the perfect line and will listen to no one else's opinion. Kramer makes a living will, with Elaine as the executor. The tennis pro, fearing he will be exposed, tries to bribe Jerry, including a rendezvous with his wife. Elaine opts for another movie and makes Vincent angry. George finds out that Reilly doesn't work for the Yankees anymore, so he tracks him down to Ohio, where he plans to deliver his line. Kramer finishes the movie he rented and discovers it is possible to recover from a coma, he decides to change his will. Milos' wife has no respect for him; he asks Jerry to let him beat him in tennis. Elaine receives a phone call from Vincent and she convinces him to let her meet him. She is surprised by his appearance. Kramer goes into a coma after being hit with tennis balls. Meanwhile, in Akron, George delivers his line about "the jerk store."
Thursday, February 6th, 1997
s8e14: The Van Buren Boys
Jerry's girlfriend, Ellen, seems perfect in every way, but everyone else seems to have a problem with her. George interviews candidates for the Foundation's first scholarship. The candidates seem over-qualified, until one comes in who is a lot like he was. Elaine is going to ghost write Peterman's biography. Kramer goes to Lorenzo's pizza, where he has an encounter with the Van Buren boys. He accidentally flashes their gang sign and saves himself. Peterman wants his day to day life covered in his bio; the exotic adventures are for the catalog. His day-to-day life is very boring. She tells him about Kramer's encounter with the gang and he suggests buying the story for his biography. George's scholar makes a change in his plans that causes George to disqualify him from the scholarship. Kramer sells Peterman all of his stories for $750 dollars. Elaine is put at his disposal. To Elaine, Kramer's stories aren't much more interesting. George and Kramer perform an intervention on Jerry's relationship with Ellen. George's scholar joins the Van Buren boys, who apply pressure on George to get the scholarship back. Elaine tells Kramer that he can no longer tell his stories, since they now belong to Peterman. Elaine tries to embellish Kramer's stories, but Peterman finds the rewrites "too clichÃ©d and obvious." She tells him the real Kramer story that he finds much more interesting. He tells Kramer he can have his stories back. George tries to save himself from the Van Buren boys. Jerry flies his parents in to get their impression of Ellen. He begins to see the light.
Thursday, February 13th, 1997
s8e15: The Susie
Kramer decides that daylight saving time isn't coming fast enough, so he sets his watch ahead an hour. Mike, the guy who once referred to Jerry as "a phony," has become a bookie. Peggy, a co-worker of Elaine's calls her "Susie." George is excited about Steinbrenner's ball. He hopes to show off his tall blonde girlfriend with a grand entrance. Instead, she says she wants to talk. He runs away. "If she can't find me, she can't break up with me." He really wants to make that big entrance at the ball. Kramer tells Jerry that he owes Mike $100 for a bet he made on that night's Knicks game. Only Jerry never made the bet; Kramer did it for him. In fact, Kramer attends the game and gets into a fight with a key player that causes Jerry to win his bet. Peggy starts talking to "Susie" about Elaine's memo. Peterman hearing about the complaints demands to see Elaine, Peggy and "Susie" in his office; first thing in the morning. Mike can't pay Jerry, so he offers to help him with his trunk problem, but instead gets his thumbs broken for the trouble. Kramer breaks up with George on behalf of Allison. Elaine makes it through the morning meeting. Mike gets trapped in Jerry's trunk. Elaine and Jerry, in his car, decide it would be best to eliminate "Susie." George reconciles with Kramer. Elaine delivers the eulogy at "Susie's" wake, much to the confusion of Peggy. Kramer, with George, makes a spectacular entrance at the ball. Mike escapes from Jerry's trunk and accuses him of murder. The same fate befalls Elaine that befell George; Peterman puts her in charge of a foundation in "Susie's" honor.
Thursday, February 20th, 1997
s8e16: The Pothole
Elaine wants to have some Chinese food delivered, but lives just outside the delivery zone. In order to fool the delivery man, she pretends that the janitor closet in the building across the street is her apartment. The trouble is the landlady mistakes her for the janitor. Kramer joins the "adopt a highway" program, but his methods are a little unorthodox. Jerry's new girlfriend uses a toothbrush that had fallen into the toilet, which causes him more trouble than he could have imagined. George loses his keys, and by the time he finds them, they're buried at the bottom of recently filled pothole.
Thursday, March 13th, 1997
s8e17: The English Patient
A woman mistakes George for her boyfriend Neil, a guy who looks just like him. This intrigues George; he wants to meet Neil. Jerry is going to Florida to help his parents move. Kramer asks him to pick up some Cubans from his cigar guy and also gives him a T-shirt. Elaine and her boyfriend see "The English Patient"; she absolutely hates it and that makes her unpopular and dumped. Jerry's dad gets the T-shirt, #1 Dad, that he is very proud to wear, despite its small size. At his parents' exercise room, Jerry meets Izzy, an 80-year-old man who can't stand to lose; he challenges Jerry to a weightlifting competition; "It's go time!" He throws his back out again and again. Kramer's Cubans arrive; they're real people and not the cigars that Jerry thought he would be getting. George is overly obsessed with Neil, to the point where he is missing out on Danielle. Jerry is back in New York, where Izzy has returned to see a back specialist. Though Kramer's Cubans are really Dominicans he tries to pass them off as "Cubans" anyway; it doesn't work. Elaine's dislike for the film alienates her from everyone. When she tells Peterman that she hasn't seen the film, he immediately takes steps to correct the situation. Jerry meets the rest of Izzy's family all of who are fiercely competitive. He finds work for Kramer's "Cubans." Elaine still hates the movie, but must go to the Tunisian desert to live in a cave to save her job. Kramer thinks his unemployed Dominicans, whom he educated about communism, are planning to revolt; later they do. George gets a last word on Neil when Danielle makes a decision between the two of them.
Thursday, April 10th, 1997
s8e18: The Nap
George is tired and needs to take a nap while at work; he finds the perfect place, under his desk. Kramer has taken up swimming, but he finds the pool too constricting for his needs; he begins swimming in the East River. Elaine's date is worried about his back and hers; he sends her a mattress and she gets the wrong idea. She gives the mattress to Kramer. Jerry is getting new kitchen cabinets, but the contractor is constantly asking him questions. George gets Jerry's contractor to make some modifications for his desk, including space for an alarm clock. Steinbrenner is in George's office looking for him; he decides to wait for George to return. George gets Jerry to phone in a bomb threat in an effort to get Steinbrenner out of his office. After finding George under the desk, Steinbrenner thinks he has ESP and would be perfect to meet the terrorist's demand of a fitted hat day. Meanwhile, Jerry's contractor, left on his own, has made a change in Jerry's kitchen that no one likes. Elaine gets her mattress back when she gets the right idea; however, Kramer has fouled it up with the stench of the East River. Elaine's boyfriend discovers the benefits of swimming in the East River. Steinbrenner hears a ticking sound in George's office, thinks it's a bomb and calls in the bomb squad. Jerry decides he needs his old kitchen back. Elaine throws her back out trying to get rid of the mattress. Kramer's river gets crowded and George finds a new place to nap.
Thursday, April 24th, 1997
s8e19: The Yada Yada
George's girlfriend is big on using the phrase "yada yada"; Jerry says at least she is succinct. Jerry's dentist just became Jewish and he is already making jokes that make Jerry uncomfortable. Kramer and Mickey double date but they can't decide which of the women is right for them. Elaine is a character reference for a couple who is trying to adopt; a story she tells during the interview destroys all hope of adoption. George drops by Jerry's dental appointment. Mickey and Kramer continue to fight over who gets Karen or Julie. George determines that his girlfriend might be leaving out some significant details with her overuse of the phrase "yada yada." He gets her to fill in the details and discovers more than he wants to know. Jerry confesses to a priest about what he thinks about Tim's conversion. George drops by Jerry's confession. Kramer decides on the right woman and Mickey also decides to make his a commitment. Tim hears about Jerry's dental joke. After hearing Jerry's complaints about Tim, Kramer accuses Jerry of being an "anti-dentite." Elaine lobbies on behalf of Beth and Arnie and makes a sacrifice to try getting them a child. Meanwhile, Beth comes to Jerry for help when her marriage is falling apart. It does and she accompanies Jerry to Mickey's wedding where she reveals an unknown side of her personality.
Thursday, May 1st, 1997
s8e20: The Millennium
Elaine gets bad service at a clothing store, so she begins shopping at another similar store. Jerry notices that he is on his girlfriend's speed dial. Kramer plans for his millennium New Year's Eve party two years in advance and he has some strange ideas about what life in that year will be like. George is "offered" a position as director of scouting by the Mets. To get the position he must be fired by the Yankees. Elaine flaunts her purchases in front of the store. Jerry obsesses about his position on the speed dial and then he makes it to number 1. Kramer discovers that Newman is planning his own millennium party. George tries to make a big exit from the Yankees organization; however, all his attempts make him look better in the organization. The step-mother of Jerry's girlfriend's confronts him over his #1 position on the speed dial. Newman compromises with Kramer about their respective parties, they will be combined; however, he only has one condition, the next century must be "Jerry free." Elaine discovers the clothing store she began frequenting is owned by the same woman who didn't help her at the other store. Kramer reluctantly agrees but then has misgivings and gets Elaine to come back to his party. Elaine plans her revenge on the store with Kramer's help. Jerry gets caught in the middle of a speed dial war between his girlfriend and step-mother.
Thursday, May 8th, 1997
s8e21: The Muffin Tops
George watches a bag for a tourist who never comes back, so he starts wearing some of the clothes. Elaine tells Kramer that the stories he sold to Peterman were put into the book. Kramer goes to the book signing, claiming he is the real "Peterman." George becomes a tourist from Arkansas when he meets a beautiful woman from the tourist bureau on the street. Jerry shaves his chest and worries about it until he discovers his girlfriend likes hairless dogs. Elaine eats only the tops of muffins and she says that it is a million dollar idea, Mr. Lippman, her former boss, decides to start a business. Kramer starts conducting "Peterman Reality Tours" for $37.50 a piece. When the muffin top business doesn't seem to be working, Lippman asks Elaine for advice. She tells him that he must make the whole muffin and remove the top from the stump, she also demands that he remove the exclamation point from his sign. The stumps can be given to the homeless. Only they don't want them. In fact nobody wants them. Jerry continues to shave his chest despite Kramer's warning about hair growth. George "moves" to New York and takes a job with the Yankees. Steinbrenner is led to believe that George is holding down two jobs and makes a deal to trade George for chicken. Elaine convinces Kramer to get rid of her stumps and he convinces Jerry and his girlfriend to take his tour. Jerry's chest begins itching from hair growth. Elaine hires "a cleaner" to make the muffin stump problem go away.
Thursday, May 15th, 1997
s8e22: The Summer of George
George discovers he has a severance package from the Yankees that should last him about 3 months and he decides that he is going to take the summer off. Jerry is going to the Tony Awards and so is Kramer; whereas Jerry has a real seat for the awards, Kramer has a job as a seat filler. Elaine critiques a co-worker who walks with no arm movements and is accused of being "catty." Jerry's picks up his date, only to find out that she has a man living with her. Kramer gets a Tony Award for a musical in which Raquel Welch is the star. Elaine tries to work things out with her co-worker, to no avail. Kramer uses his Tony as a ticket into a place he really shouldn't be, Sardi's, where the producers of "Scarsdale Surprise" have a proposition for him. Jerry's date decides to commit to him. Elaine's complaints to men about her co-worker only seem to pique their interest in the possibility of a cat fight. Jerry's girlfriend begins to wear him out; she is always on the go. George suggests that perhaps they team up to handle Lanette. To keep his Tony award, Kramer must fire the non-arm swinging Raquel Welch from the production. Jerry goes on a date and needs George to handle the invitations for Lanette's party. He is not to skimp, this time. Kramer does his duty and pays a price. A mad Raquel walking down the street gets into a cat fight with a woman who she thinks is making fun of her, Elaine. George gets distracted and slips on an invitation. Twenty-two episodes later the gang is back where they were a year ago, only this time George is the one in a hospital bed.
Thursday, September 25th, 1997
s9e1: The Butter Shave
Not fully recovered from "The Summer of George," George is using a cane to get around. Jerry might have another shot at NBC, through an appearance on a NBC Showcase that might lead to another pilot. He is also annoyed that lame comic Kenny Bania's act is working, only because he is following on Jerry's coattails, a time-slot hit. Bania scores with big laughs and also gets one of Jerry's ex-girlfriends. George gets a job interview. Elaine is on vacation for a month in Europe with David Puddy. If he's lucky he won't "come back in a body bag." Kramer finds butter is a better protection for his skin after shaving. George is hired for the job because of his use of the cane. They think he is handicapped and of course he takes full advantage of the situation. Kramer's skin feels so good with butter; he takes to spreading it all over his body. Unfortunately he lies out in the sun where he begins to cook. It's a long flight back for Elaine and Puddy, who break up and get back together, only to break up again. Newman, reading the cannibalism themed story Alive!, finds the smell of a cooked Kramer appealing. Jerry is informed that Bania is going to follow him on the NBC showcase. George sprains his good leg and Jerry discovers that George is a closet Bania fan. Kramer tries to keep his skin moist but the baked in smell of cooked meat is too much for Newman. George manages to keep up his bluff until he tries to take on some old-timers. Jerry plans to sabotage his own act, surmising that Kenny's act will also bomb, but Kenny gets the last laugh.
Thursday, October 2nd, 1997
s9e2: The Voice
George's employer wants to get rid of him, since they now know he isn't really handicapped and they don't like him. He has a one-year contract with Play Now that he will make sure they honor by him showing up for work every day. Jerry and George mock the sounds the Jerry's girlfriend Claire's stomach makes during the night. Jerry envisions the belly button as the mouth and the sound the stomach makes its voice. Because of the "bump into" Jerry tells Elaine that she is destined to backslide into her relationship with David Puddy, she bets him $50 that she won't. The next day Jerry discovers that Elaine didn't go home last night, he accuses her of seeing Puddy. She says the sex they had was an isolated incident. Jerry agrees but the dinner they also had was more of a commitment, he demands that she pay up. Kramer is tired of seeing all his ideas implemented, because all the little day to day incidental things keeps getting in his way and keeping him realizing his ideas. He gets an intern from NYU to help him out with Kramerica Industries; the corporation he had previously setup to develop some of his ideas. With this help he'll be freed from the day-to-day activities and be able to develop his ideas, such as the oil tanker bladder. Meanwhile, George is fighting the siege mentality that he is encountering at work and Elaine just can't get Puddy off her mind. No matter what the obstacle, George endeavors to occupy his office. Jerry tells Claire about the voice and she leaves him. The university takes Kramer's intern away from him. Claire says they can get back together if he won't do the voice ever again, he decides the voice is worth it. Unfortunately, everyone is tired off the voice. Elaine pays ups and they decided on a double or nothing bet. The intern comes back on his own because he believes in Kramerica. Play Now tries to negotiate with George, but he won't give in. Later, he offers his office and one of their rubber balls to allow Kramer to test his oil bladder idea. Jerry continues to cash in on his bet with Elaine, who just can't seem to keep away from Puddy. The big test takes place at George's workplace where Jerry plans to meet Claire. They try to warn her about the falling object, but all she hears is the voice. The lawsuit that is filed by Claire puts Play Now out of business and George out of his contract.
Thursday, October 9th, 1997
s9e3: The Serenity Now
Frank is supposed to say "serenity now" every time his blood pressure is in danger of going up. Jerry's girlfriend gives his Knicks tickets away. She comments that she has never seen him get "real mad." George gets Kramer to help him fix his parents' screen door. They remove the old door and Kramer takes it with him. Frank is selling computers; he wants to bring George into his business. Lippman's boy tries taking advantage of becoming a man at his bar mitzvah by using his tongue while kissing Elaine. Kramer installs the screen door outside his apartment to give his apartment "the cool even breezes of Anytown, USA." His initial instinct is to quit, but George decides it is finally time to take on his arch-nemesis, Lloyd Braun, whom Frank has also hired to sell computers. When Jerry learns how to get mad, it releases all his other feelings, including caring and another that results in a proposal. Kramer fights with the neighborhood kids of "Anytown, USA." George tells Elaine she is attractive to the Lippman men because of her "shiksappeal." The result gets her two Lippman "men" who want to denounce their religion. George hatches a scheme to sell more computers; however, continual use of the phrase "serenity now" has an "impact" on computer sales. The release of emotions from George has an impact on emotional Jerry. Elaine seeks help from a "rabbi" to see if she can reduce her "shiksappeal."
Thursday, October 16th, 1997
s9e4: The Blood
Jerry has an encounter with an Exacto knife and ends up having an infusion of 3 pints of Kramer's blood infused into him because Kramer decided to store his blood. Jerry's parents buy him sessions with personal trainer, Izzy, who's going to help him work off his spare tire because they are concerned with his lack of exercise. George decides that adding television and food to his equation will make sex even better. Elaine visits her friend Vivian and is disappointed when Vivian implies that she isn't responsible enough to watch her son Jimmy, so she works overtime to prove how responsible she is.
Thursday, October 30th, 1997
s9e5: The Junk Mail
Jerry's childhood friend "Fragile" Frankie promises to get Jerry a new car because of a show he did for Frankie's car dealership. George prepares for his weekly call to his parents. Kramer plans his revenge on a company because of the over abundance of catalogs they've sent him in the past month. Elaine is back with Puddy, but meets the man of her dreams at the diner and plans to keep Puddy in reserve until she finds out if the new guy can "handle the workload." Kramer gets deluged with more catalogs and plans to stop the mail. George's parents cut him short on his weekly phone call. Jerry gets a van and not the Saab he'd hoped for. Frankie reminds him of the childhood dream they had where they got a van a toured the country. George pops in on his parents and reminds his parent's they didn't call him back, but they have to leave right away. Kramer bricks up his mailbox, but that doesn't stop his mail from being delivered. Jerry plans to sell the van; Kramer helps him out with the ad copy that cites interesting trades considered. Kramer goes to the post office to permanently cancel his mail. Newman confesses to him that no one really needs their mail but that there is a greater conspiracy at work. George demands to know what's going on with his parents; they tell him they are cutting him loose. George isn't ready for abandonment; he plans to date his cousin as a means of getting his parents involved in his life. Jerry determines that the appeal Elaine finds in her new boyfriend comes from some old commercial that he appeared in. Kramer wants Jerry's van and offers Anthony Quinn's old tee shirt as an interesting trade. Elaine wants Puddy back, but is rejected by him. Kramer uses the van to launch his anti-postal campaign. George's cousin is into their relationship; however, George schemes to have his parents catch him making out with her. Kramer is captured and enlightened by the postmaster general. Elaine's boyfriend gets his second piece of good news in one day, his TV career has been revitalized and she is taking him back. Jerry must sell the van after seeing what they saw.
Thursday, November 6th, 1997
s9e6: The Merv Griffin Show
After Kramer finds the set of the old Merv Griffin Show in a dumpster, he begins to treat his entire life like a talk show. Jerry's new girlfriend has a priceless toy collection that she won't let him play with, which leads him to some questionable behavior. George runs over a squirrel with his car, and he's forced to spend time and money on its recovery. Elaine has to find a way to deal with a new co-worker, whose 'sidling' is both annoying and potentially dangerous to her job.
Thursday, November 13th, 1997
s9e7: The Slicer
Elaine is having nightmares and sleepless nights due to her neighbor's inconsideracy. The neighbor is out of the country and has left her alarm clock set for 3:30 a.m.. George gets a dream job at a very badly run company, his new boss seems familiar to him, then a photo in the boss's office reminds him of "the boom box incident." Fearing that he might lose his new position, George listens to Kramer's advice and plots to get hold of the photograph and get it retouched. Kramer's dissatisfied with the meat he is getting with his sandwiches, so he obtains a meat slicer. Kramer suggests Elaine that she short circuit her neighbor's apartment and blow the circuit breaker. Jerry is going to go out on a date with a doctor that Elaine recommended, but the date is annoying when the doctor can only talk about saving lives. The photo lab screws up the retouching by eliminating the boss from the photograph and not George. Jerry discovers the doctor is dermatologist. George recommends a carefully orchestrated revenge date. Kramer uses the meat slicer to help Elaine feed the neighbor's cat; the power outage shut off the automatic feeder. Jerry's revenge date goes well, until he is reminded of the phrase "skin cancer." Elaine is still using the slicer and finds it very handy, until she tries to even her high heels. George goes back to the photo shop to find they put the boss back in the photograph as a cartoon. He now needs to obtain a new bare-chested photo of his boss or find a new job, perhaps the Coast Guard. Jerry's doctor date would provide the perfect opportunity for him as she does skin cancer screenings. Elaine keeps the slicer problem from Kramer by threatening him with seeing some circus clowns. Later, Kramer goes to her apartment to pick up the slicer; she fixes it and quickly shoves it out the door. Kramer sees the dinged up blade and tries to get back into her apartment, but he takes the knob of the door. Jerry has developed an allergic reaction to something as hives have broken out on his neck. Elaine discovers she is trapped inside her apartment. Jerry goes down to George's workplace and confronts the doctor about his hives. She leaves and Kramer, in his white meat slicing coat, steps in as the skin cancer doctor and spots a growth on George's boss. George gets his bare-chested photo. Kramer wants to come clean about the growth; George tells him he will tell his boss to see another doctor. George's boss doesn't think it is a problem, a ten-year-old photo of him shows the mole, it hasn't changed. He also relates to George the story about the dumb guy on the beach with the boom box. He mentions to George (as others have) that he sure has lost a lot of hair in the past ten years. Despite all of that, he gets to keep the job. Later, the guys keep Elaine company as they wait for the locksmith to come and open her apartment.
Thursday, November 20th, 1997
s9e8: The Betrayal
Jerry, George and Elaine return from their trip to India that they don't want to talk about. Sue Ellen calls the wedding off and Nina doesn't want George or Jerry. George finds out that Jerry slept with Nina and Elaine slept with the groom. Kramer and FDR settle their score, a snowball with something extra. Jerry "schnapps" Elaine to find out why George is so bitter with him. Kramer tries to out wish FDR. Elaine, Jerry, George and Nina arrive in India, where Elaine discovers that the groom is someone she slept with and that they are the only people from the U.S. who are attending the ceremony. Kramer is angry with Newman because he didn't use his birthday wish to save Kramer from FDR. George "schnapps" Elaine to find out the secret Elaine is keeping about Jerry and Nina. Elaine buys tickets to India to spite Sue Ellen by showing up at her wedding. Kramer tries to get Newman to use his birthday wish to protect Kramer from FDR. Elaine finds that Jerry and Nina have just slept together. Elaine meets the parents of Sue Ellen's fiancé who try to convince her not to go to India for the wedding; after all they aren't even going. Jerry and Nina suffer an awkward pause in their conversation. Kramer confronts FDR about his birthday wish. Elaine's mail from India is an "unvitation" to Sue Ellen's wedding in India to someone whose name seems familiar to her. George asks Jerry to call Nina about setting them up on a date and realizes he must where his Timberlands every time he sees her. Jerry and George are walking down the street and they run into Nina and old girlfriend of Jerry's whom he never slept with. Kramer attends FDR's birthday and FDR gives him an evil eye right before blowing out the candles on his cake. Elaine receives an item in the mail from India. Two years earlier, Jerry tells George and Susan that Nina might be the one; Kramer nails FDR in the back of the head with a snowball; Elaine is dating an Indian man named Peter (Pinter). Eleven years earlier, new resident Jerry tells his neighbor across the hall, whom he calls Kessler (it's the name on the mailbox), that what's mine is yours.
Thursday, December 11th, 1997
s9e9: The Apology
Jerry's girlfriend walks around his apartment naked; she even eats breakfast and plays Scrabble naked. An old friend of the gang named Jason is going through Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and is currently working on step 9, where you make amends to individuals for past wrongs. George is anxious to receive Jason's apology for the humiliating neck-hole incident. Elaine is offended when her co-worker, Peggy, can't tolerate Elaine's germs, but easily tolerates the germs of other people. Kramer discovers he's been taking too long in the shower, so he tries to make some changes to his shower routine. Jerry comes to realize there is good naked and bad naked, when he sees his girlfriend coughing. Jason stops by the restaurant to apologize to Jerry, but fails to apologize to George. George confronts him later, only to be humiliated some more. Kramer changes don't work out, so he asks for advice from Jerry and observes the men in the shower at a health club. Elaine confronts Peggy and gives her some germs. George tells Jerry how he can show his girlfriend the concept of bad naked using a belt sander. Kramer decides to live in the shower. George talks to Jason's sponsor, who recommends that he attend a meeting, only it's not AA, it's Rage-oholics Anonymous (RA). Jerry executes George's plan. After doing his dishes in the shower, Kramer decides he needs to add a garbage disposal to bathtub. Kramer calls on Puddy for installation advice. Elaine tells Jerry one of the problems with his body and why a naked male body isn't attractive. Puddy tells Elaine why her co-worker doesn't like her germs, she's a "germ-o-phobe," like he used to be ten years ago. He accompanies Elaine on a visit to Peggy to prove his theory. Jerry convinces his girlfriend to put on her clothes; however, he can only picture her naked and unfortunately she can only do the same with him. Kramer cooks up a meal that he serves to Elaine, Puddy and the recovering Peggy, only they all react badly when they find out the kitchen was in the shower. Jason tries to apologize to George, but it isn't quite what George had in mind so they both go into a rage.
Thursday, December 18th, 1997
s9e10: The Strike
George, Elaine and Jerry attend Tim Whatley's Hanukkah party. Jerry meets an attractive woman with whom he sets up a date. Elaine meets a man in a bad denim vest and gives him her fake number. George is offended by Whatley's gift to him, a donation in his name to a charity. George is also reminded of the Festivus holiday his father created many years ago. Elaine's quest to become a submarine captain and get her free sub sandwich is ruined when she realizes she used her punch card at the party to give her fake number to the denim vested guy. Kramer gets word he can return to his job at the bagel place, it seems he has been on strike for the past 12 years. Elaine goes to the place, an off-track betting parlor, that her fake number reaches. She wanted to give them her real number, so when the denim vest guy calls, she can connect with him. The men at the parlor are interested in connecting with her, so she gives the number for the bagel shop where Kramer is working. Jerry meets his date, Gwen, at a restaurant, but it turns out she is two-faced. Sometimes Gwen looks great, other times she's plain; it all depends on the viewer's angle and the lighting. George decides to use the Whatley approach when giving out Christmas gifts at Krugers; however, he makes up his own charity called the "Human Fund." Kramer is intrigued by the concept of the Festivus holiday and contacts Frank, who becomes excited at the prospect of rekindling "Festivus for the rest-of-us." Kramer asks to get the 23rd of December off, when he can't get it, he resumes the strike; meanwhile Elaine waits at the bagel place for a phone call from the denim vest guy. The look of Jerry's girlfriend keeps changing. Jerry decides that Gwen looks best in the back booth at Monk's, something she grows to dislike. George passes out his gifts at Krugers and reaps great rewards. Kramer warns Elaine about the sabotage he committed; the bagel place becomes very steamy and makes Elaine look ugly. Kruger gives George a check for donates $20,000 to the "Human Fund" and later accounting informs him the charity doesn't exist. Gwen finds out from Kramer that Jerry is seeing another woman, Kramer has seen her and she's not Gwen. Gwen thinks Jerry is two-timing her with an ugly woman. George tries to convince Kruger that he passed out the fake gift cards because he didn't want to be ridiculed for the holiday his family traditionally celebrates, Festivus. To prove it, George brings Kruger to his father's Festivus dinner, where everyone comes together.
Thursday, January 8th, 1998
s9e11: The Dealership
Jerry plans to buy a new car with an insider deal from Puddy, who's been promoted to a car salesman. Jerry ends up bargaining with Puddy and Elaine to get them back together so he can get a better deal on his car. Kramer takes the car Jerry is planning to buy for a test drive with another salesman, and decides to see how far past empty the gasoline can go. George seeks out something to eat and must settle for a vending machine candy bar, which ends up getting stuck. After George leaves and comes back, George suspects a mechanic of stealing the candy bar. Then George comes up with a creative idea to implicate the mechanic.
Thursday, January 15th, 1998
s9e12: The Reverse Peephole
Puddy is wearing what can only be described as a "man fur." Jerry and Elaine leave it to George to sniff them out a deal on a massage chair, for an apartment warming gift for their friend Joe Mayo. Elaine doesn't like Joe's parties, because he always gives his guests an assignment. Kramer and Newman are going to reverse the peepholes on their doors. The landlord wants to evict Newman, because he is an agitator. Jerry decides to go wallet-less. George is opposed to the idea; he keeps everything in his wallet. Jerry, George, Elaine and "man furred" Puddy go to the party and get their assignments. Elaine, who is in charge of the coats, decides to throw "Dr. Zaius" (Puddy's coat) out the window. Kramer comes to Newman's defense with the landlord. Joe Mayo has the same kind of coat that Puddy had, so he wants Elaine to replace the coat, after all she was in charge. George complains about back problems that Jerry attributes to the size of his wallet. The massage chair gets delivered to George's apartment. Wallet-less Jerry must carry all his girlfriend's stuff, when they go out on their date. Newman admits to Kramer that he is sleeping with the landlord's wife. Kramer and Newman find Puddy's coat hanging in a tree. Jerry complains about carrying all his girlfriend's stuff and Elaine tells him about Peterman's small men's carryall. "It's not a purse, it's European." Elaine decides she is out of the gift, if she has to replace the coat. George is enjoying the new chair and lies about getting the chair. Elaine finds out that Newman has Puddy's coat and she invites Newman to her apartment. Despite Elaine's come-ons, Newman won't give up the coat, he has given it to the landlord's wife. The landlord confronts Kramer, when he discovers the fur coat. Kramer says that it belongs to Jerry, because he is one of those insecure entertainers. Kramer convinces Jerry to wear the coat in front of the landlord. George continues to lie about the receiving the gift. Jerry drops out of the gift, when he finds out that Joe Mayo didn't like the music he provided at last year's party. Kramer was never in the gift, he just thought it was a good idea for a gift, he doesn't even know Joe Mayo. George will be able to return the chair, after he has the receipt in his wallet. Out on the street, George's wallet explodes. Jerry goes out on the street in the fur coat, where his "purse" is stolen and the landlord finds out the truth about the coat. Puddy gets a new coat.
Thursday, January 29th, 1998
s9e13: The Cartoon
Kramer's brutal honesty gets Jerry in trouble with Susan's old college roommate, Sally Weaver. Elaine obsesses over the meaning of a cartoon that appears in The New Yorker. Elaine and later Kramer comments that George's new girlfriend looks a lot like Jerry. In fact Kramer says "just because they look-a-like, that doesn't mean you're (George) secretly in love with Jerry." Jerry confronts Kramer's frankness. Sally claims that Jerry has ruined her life, she's quitting the business, Jerry can't have that on his conscience, he talks her back into the business. Kramer makes an important life decision, the only way to keep his mouth shut, is to stop talking. Before he finally stops talking, Kramer's constant references to the looks of George's girlfriend, drives George out of Jerry's apartment. Elaine goes to The New Yorker to seek an explanation for the cartoon. Discovering that the editor didn't understand the cartoon either, he liked the kitty. Sally opens her new one woman show about "Jerry Seinfeld- the Devil." Elaine's complaint, gets her the opportunity to do her own cartoon for the magazine. Jerry confronts Sally about the content of her show. Newman is her biggest fan; finally, he can see a "show that is about something." Kramer discovers the disadvantages of not talking. George worries about why he really likes his girlfriend. A clip of Sally's show appears on channel 9 news, it features Jerry's latest confrontation with her. Elaine works all-night on her first cartoon, it is okay, but it is not the gem that Elaine thinks it is. Jerry calls Sally and the message he leaves on her answering machine appears in her show as well. Later the lawsuit he filed appears in her cable special. Jerry decides to cut off all communication with Sally. Elaine's first comic appears in The New Yorker. Peterman thinks it is a great cartoon, until he realizes it is a Ziggy and he can prove it -- "Quick Elaine, to my archives." George and his girlfriend discuss their relationship, until she gets gum in her hair. Sally starts talking to the silent Kramer, until he can't take it anymore. He tells her to shut-up, then he apologizes and says that he hasn't spoken for days. Sally tells him to lay it on her. To remove the gum from her hair, George's girlfriend cuts her hair, her new hairstyle looks exactly like Jerry's. George runs out of the apartment screaming. Elaine tells Jerry about the Ziggy incident. Ziggy responds to The New Yorker. Sally's new cable show is about to come on and Jerry is convinced she'll have nothing to talk about. He was so wrong. George decides to take a few days off from his relationship with Jerry.
Thursday, February 5th, 1998
s9e14: The Strongbox
George tries to break up with his girlfriend, Maura, only she doesn't agree. Jerry has purchased cuff links worn by Jerry Lewis in Cinderfella. He plans to use them as a conversation starter with Lewis when he goes to an upcoming roast at the Friar's Club. Having the same first name isn't enough. A man of mystery that she has met intrigues Elaine. Jerry suggests that perhaps he is a super-hero. With robberies occurring in the building, Kramer has obtained a strongbox to hold his valuables. He needs to find a place to hide his key. A place that no one knows, except him. His first place doesn't work. George lays out all of the reasons that they should be officially broken up, Maura still doesn't agree "to turn the key." Elaine gives up on her mystery man when he runs from a woman that Elaine deduces is his wife. She returns to Jerry's apartment to find that his intercom is broken. So she shouts to him from the street, about the mystery man, while she waits for the opportunity to get into his building. Jerry inspects his intercom, only to find Kramer's strongbox key hidden inside. Kramer hides his key again. Jerry finds the key again and decides to go down to let George in. While downstairs, a neighbor who's forgotten his key and is unknown to Jerry asks to be let in. Jerry denies him entry. Elaine goes to the mystery man's shabby apartment and discovers he is poor and on welfare. The woman he ran from is his welfare caseworker. Jerry discovers the keyless neighbor, does in fact live in his building, on the 5th floor in apartment 5E (!) right next door to Kramer. Elaine tells Jerry about her mystery man's super powers. George decides that cheating on Maura might be his ticket out. Kramer lets Phil, Jerry's "new" neighbor, keep his parrot in the hallway. Kramer also hides his key at Phil's. Glenn, the mystery man, takes Elaine on a date in the alley. Jerry needs his cufflinks for the roast, only to find out that Kramer has locked them in his strongbox. The key to the strongbox was hidden in the parrot's food dish, only now the parrot is dead (from food poisoning) and buried in a pet cemetery. George tries getting caught with the other woman, only both women agree that they can work with George through this incident. Elaine discovers that Glenn is, in fact, married. Kramer and Jerry go to the pet cemetery to exhume the key, his neighbor catches only Jerry. George asks what's in the cooler (strongbox) as he easily opens it up.
Thursday, February 26th, 1998
s9e15: The Wizard
Jerry buys his dad a $200 Wizard organizer for a birthday present. George receives a message from Susan's parents, the Rosses. Jerry and George debate about the race of Elaine's new boyfriend and that intrigues her (is he black?). George returns the call from the Rosses; the Foundation is having an event this weekend, but George can't attend, he has to close on his house in the Hamptons. Kramer announces his retirement, a Hollywood big shot has optioned his coffee table book about coffee tables. Elaine finds evidence that leads her to believe her boyfriend is black. Susan's parents see George on the street in the city, during the time he is supposed to be in the Hamptons. Jerry is woken up early in the morning at his parent's house and gives his father the "$50" organizer that has many features besides a tip calculator. Later he discovers that Kramer has moved down there, to join the other retirees. Elaine laughs when Susan's parents ask her about George's house in the Hamptons. Of course, George just builds on the lie. Morty, who can't run for president of the condo association, decides that Kramer should run for condo board president of Del Boca Vista phase III. Once Kramer is elected, Morty will run things from behind the scenes. Elaine schemes to try to determine her boyfriend's race. George finds out the Rosses knew that he lied. He decides to take them to the Hamptons, to "see who'll blink first." Kramer begins his campaign and the Boca Breeze has good things to say about him (see NOTE:). When Elaine's boyfriend says they are an interracial couple, she is convinced he is black. George keeps building on his lie, as he picks up the Rosses and takes them on their ride to the Hamptons. Kramer receives some bad press from the Boca Breeze; it's damage control time. Kramer suggests buying each member of the board one of those Wizard tip calculators. Jerry knows he can't get the deal he told his father he'd received, but Kramer says not to worry, Bob Saccamando's father lives down here and can help them out. Elaine and her boyfriend discover that each is not the race they thought the other was. Saccamando's father comes through with knock-off tip calculators called Willard, they are defective and the election is lost. George and the Rosses reach the Hamptons, where the truth wins out.
Thursday, March 19th, 1998
s9e16: The Burning
Elaine thinks that Puddy is religious because of the presets she discovers on his car radio. The first idea George presents at a Kruger project meeting goes over great, his follow up suggestion isn't as well received. Jerry suggests that George use the old showmanship trick of leaving on a high note. Elaine tells George and Jerry about her suspicions; George suggests that she reset his radio presets as a test. Kramer and Mickey get an acting gig playing sick for some medical students. Jerry's girlfriend, Sophie, calls him with the familiar "it's me" greeting only he doesn't recognize her voice. George leaves a Kruger meeting on a high note. For their acting job, Mickey gets bacterial meningitis and Kramer has gonorrhea. Elaine confirms that Puddy is religious. Kramer picks up on the showmanship idea and really plays up his gonorrhea part. Sophie leaves an "it's me" message on Jerry's answering machine. George suggest he call her back with the "it's me" greeting. Sophie doesn't recognize Jerry's voice and thinks he is someone else; Jerry discovers that she hasn't told him about the tractor story. Puddy doesn't have a problem with Elaine not being religious, after all he is not the one who's "going to hell." George and Jerry speculate on what the tractor story is. Elaine begins to worry about going to hell. Kruger throws everyone off the project because they are boring, so now George is the only other member of the project team. Kramer receives rave reviews for his portrayal of gonorrhea, but now he feels he has been typecast. Jerry sees a scar on Sophie's leg and assumes it was from a tractor accident. George finds that he has to do all the actual work on the project as Kruger keeps making excuses and doesn't do any actual work. Puddy wants Elaine to steal a paper, after all she is already going to hell and he doesn't seem to care. Kramer takes Mickey's ailment. Elaine and Puddy seek the advice of a priest about where their relationship is going. Sophie tries to tell Jerry the tractor story, but he tells her not to worry about it. Kramer and Mickey come in arguing about getting gonorrhea and Sophie clears it up for both of them. With that, Jerry leaves on a high note. Meanwhile, back at the project meeting, Kruger decides to leave George on a high note.
Thursday, April 9th, 1998
s9e17: The Bookstore
Kramer "hangs-out" more than usual at Jerry's place. Jerry spots Uncle Leo shoplifting. George takes a large book into the bathroom with him. Kramer and Newman plan to implement Kramer's idea for running a rickshaw service in the city. Elaine is at the annual Peterman party, where everyone is anxious to know if she is going to dance again and when. She ends up getting drunk and making out at a table with another man.
Thursday, April 23rd, 1998
s9e18: The Frogger
Elaine is confronted with cake from two separate birthday celebrations. She is tired of the forced socializing, so she calls in the sick the following day. Jerry & George are going to their old high-school hangout for one last slice of pizza. Kramer was at the police station where he obtained some caution tape used for crime scenes and also hears about a serial killer that is on the loose in the Riverside Park area. At the pizza parlor, George discovers he still has the high score on the old Frogger video game. Elaine's co-workers give her a cake to celebrate her return to work from being sick, she refuses to take part in any future celebrations. Jerry goes out with Elaine's friend Lisi, but she is a "sentence finisher, it's like dating Mad-Libs." George decides to by the Frogger machine, but Jerry asks him how he is going to move it and keep it plugged in to preserve the high score. Kramer discovers the last victim of the serial killer looked a lot like Jerry. George works to find a solution to his Frogger problem and Kramer volunteers the help of a man he knows named "Slippery Pete." Elaine misses the 4 o'clock sugar rush she had gotten used to from all the celebrations, so she decides to raid Peterman's refrigerator, where she finds a piece of cake. She finds out from Peterman that the piece of cake he has in his refrigerator is worth $29,000 because of its historical significance. The cake comes from the 1937 wedding of King Edward VIII. Jerry is looking to breakup with Lisi, but discovers that she lives in Riverside Park area. To avoid the serial killer, he takes Lisi back to his place where she finishes one of his thoughts that takes their relationship to the next level. Elaine tells Jerry and George about the cake and she also tells Jerry that Lisi is planning a weekend trip for them to Pennsylvania Dutch country. Jerry fears that Lisi received the wrong message as that kind of a trip is for a serious relationship. Elaine tries to even out Peterman's slice of cake, but gets swept up in the moment and finishes it off. George tries to coordinate the movement of Frogger machine. Elaine looks for a replacement for Peterman's cake, Kramer suggests an Entemann's cake. Jerry goes to Lisi's apartment, where he tries to break up with her. It goes on for ten hours, when he is ready to leave he discovers it is dark out. After exiting her apartment, he sees a man whom he fears is the serial killer and pleads to be let back in. Peterman has his piece of cake appraised at $2.19. When George finds "Slippery Pete" playing his Frogger game on battery power; it is discovered there only about three minutes of power remaining. The only available power source is across the busy street and Kramer has run out of caution tape. It's up to George to get the Frogger machine across the street; however there is no chance of a high score in this game. Later, Peterman shows Elaine surveillance videotape of her eating and "dancing" with the slice of cake; he is convinced that the age of the cake and its effect on her digestive system are all the punishment she needs.
Thursday, April 30th, 1998
s9e19: The Maid
George searches for a nickname and decides on "T-bone." Jerry has hired a maid to clean his apartment. Elaine suspects there is more than cleaning going on. Kramer's girlfriend is moving downtown (10 minutes by subway) to a different way of life. Kramer tells Elaine he is having a fax sent to her apartment, only Elaine informs him that she doesn't have a fax machine. George makes a play for being called "T-bone" at work, but a coworker gets the honor. Elaine gets home to find 57 messages waiting for her, most of them the fax machine trying to deliver Kramer's fax. Elaine catches Jerry kissing the maid. Jerry confesses that he has a personal and work relationship with his maid named Cindy. Kramer's girlfriend is gone and he tells Elaine that he signed up for a food delivery service. They're going to fax him menus for all the restaurants for the next year. Elaine gets a new number and with it a new area code, she really wanted a "changed" number. Kramer and his girlfriend have a relationship by phone. George finds out about Jerry and his maid. Elaine tries to give out her new number to a guy, but the new area code scares him off. George wants his nickname and confronts his coworker, Kruger sees George's gestures through a window and it reminds him of "Koko the Monkey." Elaine finds out a woman in her building has died, she had a telephone number with a 212 area code. When Cindy takes her fee but leaves without cleaning anything, Jerry wonders what he's paid for. Kramer calls him "a john." George and Jerry swap information on their respective situations at Monk's counter. Kramer returns from visiting his girlfriend and reports the oddities he saw there. The gang tries to communicate while sitting at Monk's counter. Jerry's maid tells George that there is woman at the cleaning service named Coco. George sees this as an opportunity to get out from under this nickname. Jerry breaks up with and fires Cindy. Elaine gets the dead woman's number and receives her first phone call from the woman's grandson who hasn't been told she's dead. Kramer breaks up with his girlfriend and she throws him out. He gets lost downtown and calls on Jerry for help. While going to rescue Kramer, Jerry is confronted by his Cindy's pimp-like boss. He says that Jerry must pay Cindy. Elaine convinces the grandson that his grandma is dying, the boy calls 911. Jerry spots Cindy walking down the street and tries to pay her but gets busted by the police. Elaine's door is broken down by the fire department. Cindy's boss picks up Kramer and it might lead to a new career in cleaning. George gets out from under being "Koko," only to get another nickname, "Gammy."
Thursday, May 7th, 1998
s9e20: The Puerto Rican Day
The gang tries to get back into town after leaving the Mets game early in the 8th inning, the Mets are down 9 - 0. On the highway they run into trouble with a maroon Volkswagen Golf. George comments on a new movie he saw about the Hindenburg disaster and the clever comment he made during a quiet moment after the explosion. As they approach 5th Avenue traffic slows down and music can be heard, they realize they have forgotten about the Puerto Rican day parade. Elaine worries about getting home and seeing 60 Minutes as part of her weekend wind down. Kramer spots a way out if Jerry can worm his way over to the right. They almost make it over until they reencounter the maroon Golf. Elaine bails out of the car to find alternate transportation. George bails out of the car when he spots a theater screening the Hindenburg movie; he decides he wants to repeat his glory. Elaine decides the cab she hired isn't working, so she bails out of the cab, only to have it start moving again and again. George's attempt to be funny at the movie is undermined by a guy with one of those funny laser pointers. Kramer suggests that he and Jerry abandon his car. The laser pointer guy (a lousy prop comic) gets all the laughs as George's line bombs and he is humiliated. Kramer cuts a deal with the maroon Golf they are go to get access to the short cut when Jerry makes an apology wave. George returns to the car with the red dot of a laser pointer appearing all over parts of his body. Jerry rescinds his apology wave just as he is about to pull in the alley; Elaine arrives back at the same spot in her cab. Jerry's apartment is seen, but no one is home. Elaine seeks an alternate way home. Kramer seeks a bathroom. Elaine works her way over to the parade route and looks for a way across. She leads a group of people on an escape route underneath a reviewing stand ala The Poseidon Adventure. Kramer spots an apartment for sale and poses as H.E Pennypacker, a wealthy industrialist, to get access to a bathroom. When he gets back he tells Jerry about the Mets game. Soon after, Kal Varnsen (Jerry's alias), is looking at the television in the apartment. George spots the laser guy and plans a sneak attack. Elaine's route leads to a dead end. George grabs what he thinks is the laser pointer and gets ink all over his hands. Kramer accidentally sets the Puerto Rican flag on fire and a mob of people, led by the armoire stealing tough guys. Art Vandelay seeks the use of a bathroom to clean the ink off his hands and runs into Varnsen. Pennypacker joins them on the run from the mob. Varnsen wants know who's watching the Saab factory. The mob is watching it; however, they leave it in a precarious position.
Thursday, May 14th, 1998
s9e21: The Clip Show (a.k.a. The Chronicle) (1)
Jerry, Elaine, George & Kramer plan to go to the movie, but Jerry takes out a little time to look at nine years of memories. Featuring relationships (getting in & out), etc.
Thursday, May 14th, 1998
s9e22: The Clip Show (a.k.a. The Chronicle) (2)
More clips are seen and finally the closing minutes feature a series of bloopers and a musical montage that features the song "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" by the band Green Day, from their 1997 album Nimrod.
Thursday, May 14th, 1998
s9e23: The Finale (1)
Jerry and George discuss the movies and George's desire to get his fifteen minutes of fame. Kramer is off to the beach. Elaine calls a friend, whose father is in the hospital, with her cell phone; Jerry and George tell her that is a social faux pas. Jerry gets a message from NBC that they want to talk about the pilot. So Jerry and George go to meet with the new vice president of programming, who is interested in turning their pilot into a 13 episode series. Jerry and George begin to make plans to move to California. Jerry interrupts Elaine's phone call to her friend to tell her about the NBC deal. When he finds out what she did, he tells her that was an even greater faux pas than the cell phone. Jerry and George's parents are excited by the news about the NBC deal. NBC offers Jerry & George a perk, free use of one of their private jets to anywhere they want. Kramer returns from the beach, but has a little bit of water trapped in his ear. Kramer warns they'll never come back from LA, "she's a seductress." Hey! He did. The foursome decides where they want to take the private jet. They finally decide on Paris. As they are ready to leave, Elaine plans to call her friend again; Jerry tells her it is not right to rush that kind of phone call. Elaine avoids a faux pas. Newman begs to be brought along, when Jerry denies him, he vows to be there at Jerry's day of reckoning. The private jet, except for George who wanted the one Ted Danson would have gotten impresses everyone. With water still in his ear, Kramer tries to get it out mid-flight. He stumbles into the cockpit and the plane starts going into a crash dive. During the descent, George confesses he cheated during "the contest" and Elaine and Jerry are about to tell each other something important, when the plane corrects itself. The plane puts down in the small town of Latham, Massachusetts for a checkup. The foursome goes into town and debates about if they are going to get back on the plane. They witness the robbery of a fat guy, which they all mock and Kramer videotapes. They are arrested under the Good Samaritan law established by the town. They are looking at a fine of a maximum of $85,000 and up to five years in prison. The guard assumes they are going to be prosecuted since this is the first offense of this kind in the country. Jackie Chiles is called in for their defense. The prosecution decides to look into the past of these four and build a case that will destroy their characters. Rivera Live covers the trial. Jerry and George's parents prepare to go to Latham for the trial. Newman (who's absolutely delighted), Uncle Leo, Peterman, Puddy, Mickey, Bania, Mr. & Mrs. Ross, Rabbi Glickman, Keith Hernandez and George Steinbrenner also make their way to Latham. Jackie tries to give George a moral compass. The judge, Arthur Vandelay, begins the trial. George thinks the name might be a good sign. The trial begins with opening arguments.
Thursday, May 14th, 1998
s9e24: The Finale (2)
The videotape Kramer made is played for the jury. When the NBC executives arrive, George forgets about the trial for a moment and complains loudly about the plane. The prosecution begins to call their witnesses and each will do more to break down the characters of the foursome. First, the arresting officer is called to the stand, followed by the victim. Then the prosecution begins to call a variety of familiar faces. Starting with the elderly woman that Jerry stole the marble rye from. The virgin, Marla, is called to the stand and she tells the court about the foursome's contest. Further testimony is given by the bubble boy. The woman who needed a handicapped spot. The doctor who was on duty the night Susan died. Sidra, the woman with no implants. Mr. Bookman, the library cop. George's former girlfriend Robin, whose apartment caught on fire. The security guard from the parking garage. A detective from when Kramer was dressed like a pimp. The low-talker tries to testify (only she can't be heard). Steinbrenner talks about calzone and George's communism. The man who runs the cockfights. The pharmacist who sold Elaine a case of contraceptive sponges. A co-worker tells about Elaine's Christmas card. Mr. Pitt tells about when Elaine tried to kill him with a pillow. The soup nazi takes the stand and finally Babu Bhatt returns to the US to tell about the cafe and his deportation. They are "very, very, bad." Rivera Live reports that the jury is in deliberation. Meanwhile, the foursome speculates on life in prison. Estelle tries to bribe the judge to be lenient on George if he's found guilty. A montage of activity is shown while the jury is in deliberation, that includes people we didn't see testifying like the Rabbi, Wilhelm, Keith Hernandez, Bania, Peterman, Puddy, Newman, Mr. Lippman, Poppie, Mr. Ross browsing for a handgun and ends with Jackie Chiles "cross-examining" Sidra outside the courtroom. The jury comes back. Jerry asks Elaine what she was going to say to him on the plane as it was crashing. She responds, "I always loved U-United Airlines." The jury returns a verdict of guilty. The foursome shows no remorse as they are sentenced to a year in jail, for doing "nothing." Jackie testifies to Jerry about Sidra's lack of implants. As the foursome sits in a prison cell, Jerry comments about the second button on George's shirt. A conversation they had nine years earlier on the 5th of July 1989. Jerry closes with a prison-based monologue.
Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005
s0e6: Jason + Larry = George (Featurette)
Jerry Seinfeld stars in this television comedy series as himself, a comedian. The premise of this sitcom is Jerry and his friends going through everyday life, discussing various quirky situations that we can all relate to (especially if we live in New York). The eccentric personalities of the offbeat characters who make up Jerry's social circle contribute to the fun.
s0e7: Running With the Egg - Making A Seinfeld (Documentary)
Tuesday, November 14th, 2006
s0e8: Queen of the Castle - The Elaine Benes Story (Featurette)
When Seinfeld Needed A Girl, Julia Louis-Dreyfus Fit The Bill, Bringing Luster & Laughter To The Show
Tuesday, November 14th, 2006
s0e9: Larry David's Farewell (Featurette)
Larry David speaks about the show. Reflections On Larry David's Final Season
s0e10: Where's Larry - Seinfeld's Secret Guest Star (Featurette)
Larry David's on screen guest appearences on Seinfeld. This clip comes with the extra features of the Seinfeld Season 7 DVD.
s0e17: Reunion Special
Sunday, February 14th, 2010
s0e110: 25 Things You Didn't Know About Seinfeld
Think you know everything there is to know about 'Seinfeld'? Ok, maybe you do, but for the rest of us, TV Guide Channel put together a special called '25 Things You Didn't Know About ... Seinfeld.'
Thursday, November 25th, 2004
s0e121: The Seinfeld Story
While doing his stand up act, Jerry takes questions from the crowd. One of the questions is "where did the series come from?" An often asked question, Jerry responds by showing a videotape he's prepared. The video includes his first appearance on "The Tonight Show" (6 May 1981), interviews with his managers, his co-creator Larry David, executives from NBC and Castle Rock, his fellow cast mates, and other people involved with the production during the early years (the pilot through season. All of this is interspersed with numerous clips from the show. At the end when asked if they are going to do a reunion show, Jerry answers "Ah yes, you've just saw it, I hope you enjoyed it." This is followed by several bloopers.
s0e122: How It Began (Documentary)
Making-of Documentary on how Seinfeld came to be.
Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
s0e123: The Breakthrough Season (Documentary)
An in-depth, behind-the-scenes look at the Emmy-winning season in which Seinfeld leapt from cult favorite to ratings sensation and officially became "A Show about Nothing."
s0e128: Seinfeld Interview - Enough Rope with Andrew Denton
s7e128: SeinImation - Pinky Toe's Wild Ride
Seinimation is a series of cartoons of Seinfeld episodes. They were released on the Seinfeld DVDs as special features. They used audio from a set episode placed over a new "toon".