Tuesday, November 30th, 1999
s0e1: Pitch Pilot
Two scientists are stuck on an iceberg in Antarctica. They call for Sealab's help, but they have other issues. For example, Marco thinks he is a salad, Sparks interrupting the call by watching porn, Turtle races.
Thursday, December 21st, 2000
s1e1: Radio Free Sealab
Murphy, bored to tears, starts his own pirate radio show called "Howlin' Mad Murphy" until the FCC Search & Destroy team shuts his @*! down!
Saturday, December 30th, 2000
s1e2: I, Robot
Sealab is in danger, but nobody cares. The crew wonders what it would be like to be robots, while Quinn tries to deal with the impending disaster.
Saturday, December 30th, 2000
s1e3: Happy Cake
Capt. Murphy can't seem to find his ""Happy Cake"" cupcake oven anywhere. He sends the Sealab crew out to find it, only to find it's in the (many) hands of a giant octopus.
Sunday, September 2nd, 2001
Debbie wants to have a baby so she starts to interview the crew to see who will be the father. Marco makes time with the other Debbie (aka "Black" Debbie).
Sunday, September 16th, 2001
A flesh-eating invisible monster has invaded the Sealab and is killing everyone. The crew tries to lure it into a trap by having Dolphin Boy wear a life-jacket made of meat.
Sunday, September 30th, 2001
s1e6: Lost in Time
Under orders from Capt. Murphy, Stormy & Quinn attempt to hook up pirated cable-TV. After getting a picture, something goes haywire and sends Stormy & Quinn repeatedly back in time about 15 minutes. Then, after getting a picture, something goes haywire and sends Stormy & Quinn repeatedly back in time about 15 minutes. Then...
Sunday, October 14th, 2001
s1e7: Little Orphan Angry
An orphan says he is terminally ill so he can go to Sealab.
Sunday, October 21st, 2001
s1e8: Waking Quinn
While lounging in the pool, Dr. Quinn is repeatedly electrocuted by Stormy throwing various devices into the water. Quinn's resulting hallucinations are strangely hysterical.
Sunday, October 28th, 2001
s1e9: All That Jazz
Murphy is stuck under a soda machine. To make matters worse, everyone else is out at a concert and can't help him! To make matters worse still, who should happen upon poor, defenseless Murphy but an angry scorpion and a tooth-collecting maintenance robot?
Sunday, December 9th, 2001
s1e10: Murphy Murph and the Feng Shui Bunch
Murph blows the whole Sealab budget on making the place "Feng Shui" paying a scam artist to redecorate the whole place.
Sunday, April 7th, 2002
s2e1: In The Closet
Due to a faulty door, the Sealab crew gets locked in a tool closet. A few black eyes result as they try to get out, but then they discover that a pack of unfed killer dogs are running around Sealab.
Sunday, April 28th, 2002
Sparks starts pushing a new, "mostly kelp" energy pill that proves to be highly addictive.
Sunday, May 5th, 2002
s2e3: Swimming in Oblivion
Behind the scenes at the chaotic "set" of Sealab 2021. In this episode, the voice actors use their own names rather than the characters'. The episode is a parody of Living in Oblivion by Tom DiCillo.
Sunday, May 12th, 2002
s2e4: Der Dieb
A series of unexplained thefts leads Murphy to declare "Martian law". In the ensuing madness, everyone ends up blaming Quinn for all the thefts.
Sunday, November 3rd, 2002
s2e5: The Policy
After running up thousands of dollars in credit card debt, Murphy can't come up with a way to pay for it all...until Sparks intervenes. He takes out life insurance policies on the crew before sending them on a fatal fool's errand, and proceeds to kill Captain Murphy with a homemade tesla coil in the hot tub. However, Captain Murphy grabs Sparks as he is being electrocuted, killing Sparks as well.
Sunday, November 10th, 2002
s2e6: Hail, Squishface
A mysterious Asian visitor brings an irresistibly cute Gloop (reminiscent of shmoos) onto the station, which Murphy names Squishface. There are two problems, though: Gloops stink, and they multiply so fast that eventually Sealab is overrun with them. This episode parodies "The Trouble With Tribbles", Gremlins, and Aliens. There is also a reference to the popular fps shooter Return to Castle Wolfenstien when Debbie calls out "I need ammo!" and a bullet icon appears over her head.
Sunday, November 17th, 2002
Who should come aboard SeaLab but the Bizarro versions of the crew, such as Bizarro Debbie, Bizarro Marco, Bizarro Murphy, Bizarro Sparks, Bizarro Stormy, and a sort-of Bizarro Dr. Quinn. The Bizarros hold the real crew captive, before beginning to torture the real crew. With Bizarro Torture.
Sunday, November 24th, 2002
s2e8: Legend of Baggy Pants
Murphy's golf game is, due to a lack of golfballs, cut short. Murphy embarks on a frantic quest to find the Pro Shop. On the way, Murphy runs into a Monster-Hesh, snotty telephone operators, the Dolphin Boy, and a perfidious Eggers. Finally, Murphy ends up at the local watering hole, 'The Idiot', and starts drinking. Heavily. Murphy also loses his hat.
Sunday, December 8th, 2002
The crew of Sealab (along with a vapid gossip-show host, a bear in lederhosen and guest stars Kid 'n Play) star in a sneak preview special for the movie Tinfins, complete with plenty of ads for the restaurant Grizzlebee's: "You'll wish you had less fun".
Sunday, December 15th, 2002
A nuclear submarine crashes outside the station, and the crew of Sealab (in a rare occurrence) must work quickly to stop an environmental disaster from happening.
Sunday, December 29th, 2002
s2e11: Feast of Alvis
Capt. Murphy's attempts at a happy Alvistide go awry thanks to non-Alvian crew members, an uncooperative electrician, and Alvis himself "crapping the buffet".
Monday, May 26th, 2003
An accident leaves Quinn comatose and Stormy allegedly smarter. Have they really switched brains?
Monday, June 2nd, 2003
Dr. Quinn forcibly takes a well-deserved vacation, inside Sealab's walls, the crew attempts to find out what he's doing.
Monday, June 9th, 2003
The electricity is out in Sealab, and the crew tries to turn the power back on. This episode shows the outside of the Sealab for 8 minutes, during which time nothing happens besides Stormy destroying a section of the Sealab, and occasional appearances by fish, sharks, and bubbles.
Monday, June 16th, 2003
s3e4: Article 4
A loophole in the Sealab charter turns everyone into captains, except Stormy (too stupid), Quinn (too proud to exploit the loophole), and the Chinese crew members (because of previous Asian accomplishments, including anime, among other things). How will Sealab survive? And where did Capt. Murphy go?
Sunday, November 16th, 2003
s3e5: Return to Oblivion
A network executive audits the set of the hard-hitting action drama Sealab 2021, with hopes of somehow salvaging the dwindling series.
Sunday, November 23rd, 2003
Debbie and Quinn break up, while Dr. Virjay gets his old rock band back together.
Sunday, November 30th, 2003
s3e7: Tourist Season
Captain Murphy opens Sealab to tourists, eventually prompting Dr. Virjay to renounce his religion, and begin to eat meat from cows.
Sunday, December 7th, 2003
s3e8: Red Dawn
Kommissar Murphy brings Marxist-Leninist ideals to Sealab.
Sunday, December 14th, 2003
s3e9: Meet Beck Bristow
Hollywood Actor Beck Bristow (Brian Bloom) comes to Sealab to study for a television role.
Sunday, December 21st, 2003
s3e10: I, Robot, Really
Due to an incident with Chubby Carol, Quinn (who doesn't think Carol is so chubby) is blackmailed into giving each crew member a robot body, but what is to become of the crew's old bodies?
Wednesday, December 31st, 2003
s3e11: Frozen Dinner
The Sealab crew attempts a daring rescue mission to Ice Station Zebra, one of whose inhabitants has turned to cannibalism. They are accompanied by a German who "came with the sub," bears more than a passing resemblance to Jürgen Prochnow and is given to firing his pistol inside the sub and shouting "Sieg Heil, Cornelius Drebbel!" Unfortunately, the two inhabitants of Ice Station Zebra cannot be rescued due to a lack of wetsuits, thanks to Debbie packing an attractive dress for herself instead.
Sunday, January 11th, 2004
s3e12: Tornado Shanks
As Captain Murphy leaves for The Great Spice Wars, a new captain, Tornado Shanks, is given the helm.
Sunday, June 20th, 2004
A delivering mishap and some dishonesty on Sparks' part pockets Sealab a brand new Asteroid Smasher/High-definition Television. Unfortunately, the ASHDTV was supposed to go to Spacelab so they could destroy an asteroid hurtling towards the earth.
Sunday, June 27th, 2004
s4e2: Chalkboard Jungle
Dr. Quinn teaches Debbie Love's class of 4th-graders including Fatass McBlobbicus, while having to deal with Tornado Shanks' warped and unscientific view of education. The classic story "The Scarlet Ibis," by James Hurst, is ripped off as part of a classroom discussion of death. All the while, cuts are made between Debbie Love's classroom and the spa Love is visiting, creating a series of double entendres.
Sunday, July 4th, 2004
s4e3: Dearly Beloved Seed
The last of Captain Shanks' brothers (who are all named for mythical Greek heroes) dies from a heart attack while taking a dump; all the while, Hesh and Debbie Dupree get married.
Sunday, July 11th, 2004
s4e4: Craptastic Voyage
Quinn, White Debbie, and "He Who Smokes Bitches" Stormy Waters venture deep into Tornado Shanks to destroy a malignant tumor in Captain Shanks' head.
Sunday, July 18th, 2004
s4e5: Let 'Em Eat Corn
Tornado Shanks declares Sealab a sovereign nation in order to be his own tax haven. A wave of secession fever sweeps through the entire crew, with a half-dozen nations declaring themselves independent in a few minutes; with the help of two British businessmen, they are all soon armed with missiles allegedly loaded with nuclear warheads. When push comes to shove and every Sealab nation declares war on every other one, however, the nukes all turn out to be duds.
Sunday, July 18th, 2004
Stormy's meddlesome inquisitiveness uncovers Shanks' membership in a world-controlling society.
Sunday, November 14th, 2004
s4e7: Isla de las Chupracabras
A team-building exercise goes horribly wrong when the Sealab crew are attacked by Chupacabras.
Sunday, November 21st, 2004
s4e8: Joy of Grief
A grief counselor tries to help the Sealab crew through a hard time.
Sunday, November 28th, 2004
s4e9: Green Fever
Zombies ravage Sealab as Debbie plans her (fifth) 30th birthday party.
Sunday, December 5th, 2004
s4e10: Sharko's Machine
Marco's illegitimate son applies for a job on Sealab. Can he pass the civil service exam with Debbie and Quinn helping?
Sunday, December 12th, 2004
s4e11: Return of Marco
Marco died three episodes ago. What's he doing back? Later, Marco and Debbie sing Antônio Carlos Jobim's "Waters of March" in Portuguese.
Sunday, March 6th, 2005
As it turns out Sealab was built on an ancient Indian burial ground and is now sinking into the ocean floor. The only hope to save Sealab is John Bear, Sealab's resident Native American. But in order to save Sealab Shank's must agree to turn the Mess Hall into a casino which he does. But once the casino opens John Bear still won't stop the sinking (or let Debbie have a lounge show).
Sunday, March 13th, 2005
Marco convinces Debbie to give up her "questionable" ways through a pep talk, leading her to find religion and dump Quinn. Meanwhile, Sparks recognizes the pep talk from a 60's show, which leads a drunken Quinn to sic the network on the fugitive TV star Marco.
Sunday, March 20th, 2005
s5e3: Monkey Banana Raffle
Extreme rebel trillionaire, Max Stone, buys Sealab and ends up running it better than before.
Monday, March 28th, 2005
The police want Shanks... Why? The story is revealed in reverse. But it involves a monster, a plan to improve the world, and Grizzlebee's.
Monday, April 4th, 2005
Quinn and Stormy are stuck in a cave with only 10 minutes of oxygen while sealab burns.
Monday, April 11th, 2005
s5e6: Moby Sick
Abalon, a terminally ill whale, comes to Sealab and asks Doctor Quinn to kill him. While Quinn wonders whether or not he could end a life Stormy recognizes Abalon as the star of a show called ?I Gotta Have That Dick' and starts bugging him with fan fics. While Quinn examines Abalon's whale cancer Marco accidentally eats some of it and is inspired to create his own drink called F-YEAH!
Monday, April 18th, 2005
s5e7: No Waterworld
All the water around Sealab has disappeared, and left Sealab high and dry. Where has it all gone?
Monday, April 25th, 2005
s5e8: Legacy of Laughter
The cast looks back over five years of "A Legacy of Laughter" in the style of one of those tacky TV reunion specials but of course since this IS Sealab, not all goes well.
A never-before mentioned crew of technicians on Sealab with their own episode.